Renaissance Man: Sheldon Cooper V20
by NicelyDoneOver
Summary: Sheldon has amnesia. Little by little he begins to learn just who he is thanks to his his journals. How will he adapt to this challenging paradigm given his hatred of changes? Without the experiences that made him "Sheldon" how will he react to those who've betrayed him, mocked him and loved him? Not a 'Nice Sheldon' Fic. Definitely OOC & AU.
1. An Unknown Quantity

Pasadena Memorial Hospital

Hello. I have been told that my name is Sheldon Lee Cooper and I'm keeping a journal at the request of the psychologist, Dr. Flynn, who is interested in my case. He wants my thoughts, impressions and details of experiences or places that I might find 'familiar'.

I suppose this is as good a point as any to recap the events that preceded my current situation. Please bear in mind that I have no memory of these events and am recounting only what I've been told happened before I regained consciousness for more than brief periods.

Strangely enough, I can remember _everything_ that occurred the instant after I became 'self aware'. It is as if I have a video recording in my mind.

It begins at CalTech, in the physics laboratories. CalTech is a university in Pasadena, California where, I am told. I'm a theoretical particle physicist of some stature. To be honest, I don't have a clue what that is although it does sound very impressive, doesn't it?

'_I've called 911 and University Security is on their way. Oh, God! So much blood!' This is a man's voice and he wheezes as he speaks. There is something in my eyes and I can't seem to open them._

'_Don't move him! He might have a spinal cord injury! Jesus, Leonard, pull it together and quit crying. We need to immobilize him until the paramedics get here.' A woman's voice this time. An angry woman but she had such a gentle touch as she stroked my face._

'_Winkle, what happened? One minute we're energizing the new laser and the next, POW!'_

'_That's hardly important. Let the Accident Board figure it out. Where the fuck are the paramedics? He's going to bleed out if they don't get their asses here ASAP!' Her voice was exasperated and impatient, so unlike her touch. _

I must have lost consciousness because my next memory segments are a series of disjointed audio and video 'memories' that I'm told are from the ER at Pasadena Memorial Hospital about 4pm on the day of the 'accident'.

'_Cut his clothes off him and let's do a quick examination for other injuries. Watch the IV and…' _That was a brusque male voice and I wondered why they were cutting my clothes from me but I must have passed out again.

I next remember hearing voices in the hallway - loud voices, tinged with panic.

'_He hit the wall hard and then – oh God, there was so much blood…' That was the 'Wheezing Man's" voice. He must be asthmatic._

'_Dr. Hofstadter, you and Dr. Winkle need to calm down and let us attend to him. You also need to have those cuts sutured and I think Dr. Winkle will need an ortho consult on her wrist.' That voice was a woman's, and I wondered how doctors came to be injured them selves? _

'_Oh, shit! Leslie, your wrist – it's broken!' Again the Wheezing Man spoke._

* * *

Four days passed and in that time I was whisked to an operating room to have a 'bleed' repaired and then I was in ICU for several days since my brain had 'swelled'. I'm also told that my hair will soon grow back although I have yet to see what I look like in a mirror.

I wonder if I'll know the man in the mirror. I hope so. I only know what I've been told by others, all of who are well-meaning souls and my friends although I don't remember any of them.

All my friends dress in layers of various fabrics except for the blonde woman who sang a ridiculous song about soft kittens and cried incessantly. The blonde, 'Penny', seems to dress for comfort not for modesty. She is very emotional, crying when I smile when she calls me 'Moon Pie'. I wonder if I'm a Native American?

They told me that my mother suffered a minor heart attack when Leonard (the Wheezing Man) called and told her I'd been injured so only my sister came to visit from my immediate family. They live in Texas and that explains the accent I hear when I speak.

She calls me 'Shelly' and is my twin, younger by 8 minutes. She fills me in on so much although it takes a while to sift through the sheer mass of data she relates to get the basic information about who I am.

She also lets it slip that I've lost my memory, as if it's a secret. Obviously, _I_ know I've lost my memory. Jesus, what a doofus. Still, she's my sister and I suppose I love her. I just don't know her.

I was awakened from a sound sleep by lips pressed against mine. They were rather lifeless and a bit cool but it was the pure pulse of adrenalin that brought me to an amazing state of awareness.

"Hello, Sheldon. I'm Amy Farrah Fowler and I'm so glad you're awake and reasonably alert for there is much to tell you. We are lovers, Sheldon, and have been secretly having an illicit affair for months but now that I'm free, we can let our friends know."

I'm suddenly very aroused and my lover is lying half on and half off my hospital bed and I take advantage of the situation and kiss her, softly at first but then increasing the pressure on her lips and sliding my tongue into her mouth as my passions mount. The reaction is not what I expected.

Amy Farrah Fowler broke our kiss and stood back from the bed out of my reach and with an expression of horror on her face.

"You really don't remember anything, do you, Sheldon? What was that? You don't know me and yet you attempted to…have your way with me? What I told you was all a lie, Sheldon, designed to evoke some response reminiscent of the Sheldon Cooper we all know but…it's true. You don't remember any of us at all, not even a little bit?"

I replied in the negative. "No, I'm sorry, I don't." She starts to cry and turns abruptly and leaves the room. I notice that she also wears multiple layers of clothing and wonder if it's winter.

I shake my head in sheer wonder. Is there no one in my life who is _normal?_

* * *

There seems to be a constant stream of visitors now that I've been moved to a private room.

Some pompous douche bag came by and told me the University was holding my position open 'until you recover, Dr. Cooper'. The University was picking up all my expenses and would I please sign this form absolving the University of any wrongdoing?

A soft but definitely pissed-off voice from the doorway interrupts our discussion. I have pen in hand ready to sign and the douche bag is almost gloating in triumph.

"Don't sign it, Moon Pie. He just wants to make sure you can't sue them for getting hurt. He's taking advantage of you, Sheldon. Don't sign a damn thing until you're out of here and can think straight and maybe see a lawyer."

Okay, so maybe there was _one_ normal person – the blonde girl, Penny, my most frequent visitor.

The douche bag exits, and Penny takes his place, scooting the chair close to my bedside and smoothing out the sheet and blanket. Her eyes are all red and puffy and I believe she's been crying.

"Penny," I say, hoping to draw her out and find out what's making her upset, "what's wrong? Where's Leonard? You two seem – inseparable."

Indeed, when Penny visited, Leonard was by her side and seemed unsettled when Penny showed how concerned she was for me. They'd probably had a fight about it. I don't need my memories to know that Leonard is terribly insecure.

"He's being a butt-head about some stuff. Nothing you should be concerned about. I know I ask the same thing over and over and you must be tired of telling me over and over, but have you remembered anything at all, Sheldon?"

"I'm sorry, Penny, but no, I haven't. Perhaps you should be home assuring Leonard of your commitment rather than spending your time off here."

"You don't want me to visit?" I can see the tears in her eyes and I wonder why she is so upset. I have already surmised that I'm not good with emotions or reading people's moods based on facial expressions.

"Oh, no, Penny. I enjoy your visits but hopefully you won't have to come here to visit me any longer. I'm being discharged once the doctors are satisfied that I won't stroke out on them. You won't have to disrupt your day and can spend more time with Leonard."

She looks at me for a full minute, just looking and then asks me 'why the sad look, Sheldon?'

I have just realized something monumental. "Penny, I don't know where I live."


	2. Getting to Know You

_A/N: I always felt bad for Sheldon after the episode at the MNP and his friends' betrayal. Keep in mind that Sheldon no longer has the memory of the experiences that made him who he was and therefore, his behavior is extremely out-of-character for him and difficult for others who 'knew' him to accept._

_-NDO-_

Chapter Two  
Getting to Know You

Pasadena Memorial Hospital

"Hi, Moon Pie! Ready to head out? I'm parked right outside and I brought you clothes to wear home." Penny had stopped by before his discharge to make arrangements to take him home. She brought him clothes since he couldn't wear a gown home. His others were torn and tattered and not even the shoes had escaped being bloodstained.

"Thank you, Penny. This is very considerate of you. Instead of heading back to my apartment, could we swing by the university faculty lot so I can pick up my car?"

Penny's eyes blinked rapidly and she looked at him, really looked at him and then said, "Sweetie, you don't _have_ a car."

"What do you mean, I don't have a car? This is California – _everyone _has a car!"

"Sheldon, you don't have a car because you don't have a driver's license. You don't have a driver's license because – "

"Then how do I get back and forth to work? Go to the mall? Go out on dates?" He honestly hadn't considered not having a car. Or being able to drive.

Penny was torn between laughing at his reaction and being shocked at Sheldon Cooper going to a mall or on a date like a normal person. She knew he had a horrible time adjusting to change and losing his memories was an enormous change so some confusion was only natural but he was so _shocked_ that he didn't own a vehicle.

"One of the guys drives you wherever you need to go, honey, usually Leonard but sometimes I do if the boys are busy or just being ornery." She didn't go into any detail figuring he had enough on his plate.

Sheldon sat heavily on the hospital bed and for a moment Penny thought he was finally going to break down and cry. The look on his face was so sad and it was as if his whole world had suddenly collapsed around him.

Penny took his hand in hers and said softly, "I've got a few days off, Sheldon, so if you need to go anywhere, I'll be happy to take you. We're friends, Moon Pie, and that's what friends do for one another." She was surprised that he hadn't flinched or jerked his hand from hers.

"Thank you. If we're friends, Penny, what do I do for you?" It was an honest question and she was gob smacked because she couldn't answer right of the top of her head and _this_ Sheldon was very perceptive of some things the old Sheldon would have ignored and he looked at her and said sadly, "What kind of friend am I, Penny, if you can't name a single thing?"

_What kind of man am I that I have friends who tend to my every need but for whom I do nothing in return? Not a very good one, or so it seems._

"Excuse me but I need to dress. I'll just be a moment." He picked up the sports bag and walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Penny sat staring at the back of the man she'd come to love as a friend and mentally kicked her ass, hard.

_He helped me when I fell in the shower. He drove a car to the hospital. He stayed with me and even sang Soft Kitty to me. He's loaned me money and never charged interest or nagged me about repaying it. He's always been there when I needed him and he needs me now, more than ever before._

Sheldon stared at the man in the mirror and saw a stranger staring back at him. His head was wrapped in a turban of protective bandages and he had a 4-day growth of beard. Hard, cold, cobalt blue eyes stared back at him.

Sheldon had no idea how long he stood there assessing the stranger in the mirror but it must have been a while because Penny knocked at the door and asked if he was okay.

"Everything okay in there, Moon Pie? Need any help?" She snickered and waited for him to start loudly protesting but all she heard was, "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for the offer but I think I can manage to dress myself. I'll be out in a minute."

Penny thought back to the conversation she and Amy had had the previous evening. Both were concerned about Sheldon's 'reentry' into real life but Amy seemed bitter and angry.

_"Bestie, I don't know who that man is. When I kissed him to evaluate his responses and to hopefully stimulate some suppressed memories, he responded unlike Sheldon. He – he kissed me back! He even tried to accelerate the process by inserting his tongue into my mouth! I don't know this man at all, Penny."_

_She neglected to relate the remarks she'd prefaced her kiss with, and she made it sound as if Sheldon was some kind of sex fiend._

_"Ames, I'm sure he just responded instinctively. After all, you are an attractive woman and he must have sensed that you two were together down in that big ol' brain of his. That's why he – "_

_"No! Sheldon Cooper would never orally violate me without first requiring that we both brush, floss and use copious quantities of a strong anti-bacterial mouth wash."_

"He's still Sheldon, Amy, just lacking his memories. You can't expect him to ignore his 'baser urges' if he has no idea of his disdain for us common folk."

Amy thought about it and then smirked and looked at Penny conspiratorially. "Well, I may have prefaced my kiss with the misinformation that we'd been lovers in secret but that I was now free to pursue something more openly…but only to see test his response to past actions."

_"Oh, Amy, you bad girl!" She laughed but then put herself in Sheldon's shoes and wondered if Amy had been conducting one of her experiments or trying to move Sheldon on from the batter's box to somewhere out on the baseball diamond by deceiving him. It wasn't fair to Sheldon at all._

_"Bestie, I think I'm going to invoke the Period of Separation' clause in our Relationship Agreement and as they say, 'take a breather' until things become more normal. Yes, I definitely think that's more than appropriate since the Agreement was drawn up while both parties were mentally competent to do so."_

_Penny gulped down her wine and hoped Amy knew what she was doing. She doubted that the Whack-A-Doodle could ever be called mentally incompetent with or without his memory._

She heard the bathroom door open and looked up. His face was clouded with anger and he looked at her and said, "Is this a joke, Penny? Who the hell dresses like this?" He was holding the thermal shirt in one hand and his orange Chuck Taylors in the other. She'd selected his 'Tuesday' outfit from his wardrobe and hoped she'd gotten it right but obviously –

"I'm not 12, Penny. What's with the pants and super hero underwear and shirt? I mean, who dresses like this?"

"You do, sweetie. You love your super heroes and your science-y stuff. This is Tuesday so it's the Flash and chinos and – "

"And what if today were Wednesday?" Sheldon asked, raising an eyebrow in anticipation. Penny saw the look but plunged on, hoping something might jog a memory or two and start the process of remembering.

"Well, Wednesday would be plaid pants and whatever superhero appealed to you that day, or perhaps your Doppler shirt – I always like how it brought out the color of your eyes."

"Plaid?" Sheldon seemed to shiver and said, "Well, thank God it's Tuesday then. Plaid? Jesus, Penny, _plaid_?"

Penny had to giggle at the look on his face and the tone of his voice. "Sweetie, it's not as bad as it sounds." She thought for a moment and then blushed and murmured, "Well, maybe it is…"

He seemed to reach a decision and grabbed his wallet from his personal effects baggie the discharge clerk had handed him and went through the cards.

"Justice League of America, Batman Fan Club, International Association of Particle Physicists," he ticked each one off and then, "Oh, good, Visa and American Express. Feel like taking a detour and getting me some jeans, shirts and boxers? There's no way I'm squishing the boys in these tighty-whitey things."

Penny blushed deeply but then gave him a 100-watt smile. "Sure! I have great fashion sense, Moon Pie, and we'll just pick up a few basics and if you like them, we can always pick up more later."

* * *

North Robles Apartments  
Three hours later

"That was so much fun, Moon Pie! And thank you for the shoes…that was a sweet gesture but totally unnecessary. Still, these will go well with my red bandage dress. I can't wait to show them off."

"The pleasure was all mine, Penny. I got a real kick outta watchin' you go crazy in that shoe store." Penny noticed how his speech and diction had changed. Sheldon would never, ever say 'outta' or 'watchin', not in a million years. He would go on and on about reduction and slang…she almost missed his pedantic rants.

His Texas accent was more obvious than any of the other changes in his speech. When he called her darlin' when asking her opinion about shirts and stuff she blushed and looked at him with new eyes. Perhaps the most telling evidence that this Sheldon Cooper was different was his selection of shoes.

"Sheldon, are you certain these are the shoes you want? I mean you always said loafers were worn by people too lazy to bend over to tie their shoes."

"I like my comforts, Penny. And at least they're not orange. Now, Darlin', lets see about paying you back for all you've done. Howsa' about we mosey over to that women's shoe boutique and get you some new kicks? My treat, Penny, and I won't take kindly to 'no' for an answer."

They took the stairs slowly and rested on the 3rd landing when Sheldon said, "Penn, I'm feeling a bit woozy, can we set a spell?" Penny dropped the bags she was carrying on the landing and wrapped her arm around his waist and helped him sit down.

"Too much, too soon, Moon Pie. I should have realized you'd be tired after going through what you did. I should have brought you straight home. I'm sorry. I didn't think it through." She cringed, expecting a Sheldon lecture but all he did was chuckle.

"I needed clothes, and shoes that didn't scream 'Weirdo', Penn. I sorta blew off the doctor's instructions that said go straight home and rest and not stress myself for a week or two. Besides, I wouldn't have missed those shrieks of indecisiveness when you had to choose a single pair between all those other shoes you fell in love with. I like spendin' time with you, Queenie."

"Queenie?" She looked up at him and his blue eyes and broad smile and wondered where 'Queenie' came from.

"Well, you're Penny Queen and it just seemed to fit. Does it bother you? It's just a nickname, Penny, nothing mean or mockin'."

"We play a video game called 'Age of Conan' and you're Sheldor the Conqueror and I'm Queen Penelope, or Queen P as you sometimes call me in the game."

"Hmm, don't have a clue about the game but maybe it's my subconscious finally letting things pop up."

"Well, I like 'Queenie'. My family called me that because I hogged the bathroom. My daddy called me Queen of the Latrine when I – Queenie's fine, Moon Pie."

"What's with the Moon Pie, Penny? You seemed so disappointed in the hospital after you called me it the first time. Do we, I mean, are we, umm, what exactly is our relationship?"

Penny was caught off guard and stammered until finally she said, "You're my best friend, Sheldon. My very best friend and I like to think I'm your best friend, too."

"Oh. Okay." He seemed almost disappointed but covered it by grabbing his bags and starting back up the stairs.

She had to do something to salvage the situation so she did something she knew he would appreciate no matter how he felt afterwards. She told him the truth.

"Sheldon, Leonard and I are…we're together and I think this time we'll get all the whimsical ducks in order. I hope you understand – "

"I understand perfectly, darlin'. Thank you for clearing up any misconceptions. I hope you two find the happiness you deserve. If you'll point me to my apartment, I really need to lie down. It's been a long day and I'm still recovering."

It was his eyes that made her suddenly regret telling him the truth. They looked full of despair but she hoped it was only weariness and the stress of the whole situation. He was her Moon Pie, her whack-a-doodle and she wanted him healthy and strong enough to handle all the massive changes that life had dumped on him.

He fumbled with the keys until Penny finally took the key ring from his hand and showed him the right key and then unlocked and opened the door. She helped him carry his bags into the living room and then pointed out his room.

"Thank you for everything, Penny. I'm sure you have things you need to do so don't let me keep you." He turned and walked to his bedroom and opened the door, glanced in and muttered something she didn't catch. He glanced at her over his shoulder and then closed the door. She heard the 'snick' of the lock and felt a sense of dread overwhelm her suddenly.

She was losing her best friend and there was nothing she could do to stop it. She returned to her own apartment and dropped her new shoes on the table and opened a bottle of wine. Maybe Leonard would have more luck 'reaching' Sheldon than she had.

Sheldon carefully looked at everything in his bedroom and smiled when he saw a row of notebooks each labeled 'Journal' and the year. There were 5 journals and he saw the current year's journal on the nightstand.

He took the first two off the shelf and settled himself down on his bad. It was time to learn more about who he was and what better source than his own writings?

He formed a pretty solid opinion of himself after reading the first two journals.

It was obvious from what he'd read that he had been lucky to have any friends at all considering his opinions and comments written in his own hand. He was an arrogant bastard who never let anyone forget that he was the self-styled Homo Novus – the New Man.

The more he read, the more he dreaded ever getting back his memories and his old way of doing things.

In his opinion, Sheldon Cooper was an ass.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_After reading his first two journals, Sheldon takes his prescribed meds and curls up in his bed, exhausted after their impromptu shopping trip. He's developed a cough over the past few days and when he coughs it makes his head pound so he simply avoids coughing…_

* * *

Leonard knocked lightly on Sheldon's door. It was Thai night and he just wanted to make sure his roommate and best friend felt up to dinner and meeting friends from before the accident. Winkle hadn't visited Sheldon in the hospital but was coming over tonight just to make sure he really was okay.

The Accident Board hadn't finished its investigation yet but Leslie Winkle felt guilty about Sheldon's accident. She hadn't been to work since the incident.

"Sheldon? Sheldon, are you awake?" Leonard had been knocking for a while and now he was beginning worry. The door was locked and he couldn't hear anything from within the room. He went across the hall to his girlfriend's apartment and knocked lightly on the door.

Penny heard the light knock and knew it was Leonard. Without opening the door, she hesitated and the said loudly, "Leonard, I don't want to fight with you about this. He's your best friend and mine, nothing more. You have no reason to be jealous. He's – he's lost, Leonard, and he needs people around him who love him and care about him. I told him that we were together and he doesn't care, Leonard, so why should you?"

"Penny, his door is locked and I can't get him to open it or even acknowledge that he's awake and heard me. I need you to pick the lock so I can check on him. He shouldn't even be out of the damned hospital yet but the University's health plan…please, Penny."

She opened the door and stepped past him and across to apartment 4A. "He's taking some strong pain meds and he's dead tired, Leonard. He couldn't even make it up the stairs without resting. He's probably deeply asleep but you're right, we should check on him just to be safe."

Penny knelt at the door and pulled a hairpin from her messy bun and 10 seconds later she said, "Got it!" and walked into the dark room with Leonard right on her heels.

Sheldon was sprawled across the single bed on his stomach wearing only boxers and one of his new t-shirts and Penny knelt again and touched her palm to his cheek and announced, "He's a little warm, Leonard. Let's just let him sleep. We can save him some leftovers and he can nuke them when he awakens. Looks like Thai Night is at my place."

Leslie Winkle arrived at apartment 4A just as the gang was leaving for Penny's place, arms full of food and gear.

"What's going on? Where's Cooper? I thought he was discharged – "

"He's wiped out, Leslie. I think all the activity today did him in, poor fella. We've moved the night's activities to my place. Leonard and I checked on him and he was sound asleep although he felt a little warm."

"I'd like to see him and thank him. If he hadn't shoved us out of the way I don't like to think what might have happened." She held up her cast and frowned.

"I think he was trying to get away, Leslie –

"No, I saw the look on his face when the coupling cracked. He knew exactly what he was doing when he shoved me into you and out of the blast wave. I saw the emotion in his face in that split-second. He was terrified, Leonard, but he still shoved us behind that console."

Leonard mumbled something under his breath when he saw the pride in Penny's. Sheldon wasn't a damned hero. He just panicked and luckily they were both knocked behind an instrument console.

"Is it okay if I just skip the deal tonight and just sit with him? I didn't visit him at the hospital because they freak me out but I'm here now. I'll just check on him and sit with him."

"Winkle, not one 'dumbass' better fall outta your mouth or I – "

"Don't worry, Barbie, I'll be on my best behavior." She would be, too. She owed Sheldon Cooper a huge life debt that she could never repay and it haunt her nights for years to come. Leslie Winkle did not like owing a _man_ anything.

"Let her go, Penny. The food's getting cold. Leslie, just drop off the keys when you leave."

Winkle slipped across the hallway and unlocked the door and looked around the apartment. It was a boys' Mecca, the Holy Grail of Nerdiness and she envied them their freedom of expression. As a woman in a man's world, she was at a distinct disadvantage and it rankled her to no end. Maybe that's why she picked on Dumbass so often. A small bit of revenge. It was pure envy and she knew it.

She knocked softly at his door and then cracked the door open just a bit but the room was dark. She turned on a floor lamp in one corner of the room and just looked at him, sprawled across the bed, hardly the epitome of _Homo Novus_ but looking so…normal except for the bandaged head.

She sat down on the bed and stroked his cheek and jerked back in alarm. He was burning up with fever! His t-shirt was soaked with sweat and his hair was damp from it. His breath seemed labored.

"I need an ambulance at…"

* * *

Pasadena Memorial Hospital

"Pneumonia. We've sent cultures to the lab and we'll know what kind we're dealing with in the morning. Pneumonia still accounts for an inordinately high percentage of hospital deaths and it will only climb with the changes in insurance plans. Well, in his case, he's looking at being our guest for at least a week."

The doctor answered a few more questions and Leonard went to make a cell phone call to Sheldon's sister, updating her and reassuring her that he was in good hands and getting excellent care.

Leslie was planning on leaving as soon as the doctor finished her speech, her rigid control over her fear of hospitals was slipping. The gang wouldn't hear of it. Now that they knew Sheldon was in good hands with a positive prognosis, they were all going out to an early breakfast and insisted that she come along.

* * *

Denny's Restaurant

It wasn't a 'Sheldon approved' restaurant and that's probably why the vote was unanimous.

Sitting around the large round booth, they exchanged 'remember when Sheldon' tales and anecdotes. Winkle noted that Dr. Fowler was absent and asked why.

"She's invoked a clause in their Relationship Agreement, a 'cooling off period'" said Leonard snidely. "Apparently _Sheldon 2.0_ is more aggressive than the prototype and she panicked."

Penny glared at Leonard and kicked him hard under the table. "I told you that in confidence, Leonard!"

"Poor girl was gonna get what she'd been terrorizing Sheldon for all these months and got scared. She's 'rethinking' things."

"Leonard! I don't think Sheldon would appreciate – "

"Sheldon has no idea about his past. Whatever experiences or events made him a nutball never happened to him. He's…normal…just totally a blank slate memory-wise is all."

Penny caught Winkle's eye and they had a serious session of 'Leonard's such a 'whining little troll doll' eyeball discussion going on when the waitress came to take their orders.

"I think Cooper will make a full recovery given what the doctors have said, right? I mean he'll be back to his old cranky self in no time at all, right?"

"Sheldon's _not_ cranky. He's just very specific in his wants and needs."

Bernadette popped up and asked, "Penny, you picked him up from the hospital, did he seem…different?"

Penny smiled and Winkle just glared at her. "He was definitely not the Sheldon Cooper I was used to. First he was really pissed he didn't have a car but then when he went into the bathroom to change…he asked me what the joke was. He wondered who wore clothes like I'd given him and when I said 'you do', he got really pissed off. Asked me to take him to the mall…"

"You didn't tell me you took him shopping, babe. What's up with that? I mean it hardly seems appropriate for – "

"Appropriate? He's my best friend and he was upset about his clothes. It wasn't any big deal, Leonard. Nothing to get your briefs in a bundle over. And I got a pair of killer 4-inch heels as a 'thank you'."

"Penny, you know how I feel about you wearing those ridiculously high heels," Leonard whined.

"You could always wear lifts, Leonard," she snapped back. "I'll wear them when I go out clubbing with the girls. They're the same shade as that bandage dress I wear sometimes."

Winkle looked over at Penny and smiled wanly. She knew all about Leonard Hosfstadter's height issues. They'd had a 'friends with benefits' relationship for a while but she kicked him loose the minute he got serious. She was not going to tie herself down to any man, not when she had a goal in life. Maybe later.

"Y'know, I'm not really hungry. I think I'll head home and grab some sleep. Thanks for inviting me and thanks for hanging around the hospital with me. I really don't handle hospitals all that well."

Penny impulsively grabbed Leslie's forearm to stop her and said, "Thank you for realizing that Sheldon was in trouble, Leslie. I owe you a big one. He just felt warm and I thought he'd be okay after a good night's rest. I guess I was wrong and to see him on that gurney, fighting to breathe, it scared the crap out of me, so thanks."

Leslie didn't take compliments well and stammered her goodbye a bit and finally left, glad to be out of there.

The last thing she heard was Leonard's whining complaint that "Sheldon was hardly fighting for his life, Penny. Do you have to exaggerate everything about…"

She felt a moment of pity for Penny. The poor girl was in love with someone who could never be secure in a relationship. Talk about 'emotionally insecure' and you had to have a picture of Hofstadter in your mind to really understand it.

* * *

Pasadena Memorial Hospital  
Two days later

Sheldon was feeling much better physically. Mentally, well, not so good. He'd spent 30 long minutes on the phone with his sister, Melissa, 'ya kin call me 'Missy', Shelly,' about his mother and it was definitely an uncomfortable half hour.

He'd agreed to fly down and see his mom and sister as soon as the doctors gave him the okay to fly. Mary Cooper was not doing well at all. She was still in the hospital and her doctors were considering doing by-pass surgery to alleviate blockage in her arteries.

He was thinking about all he'd learned from that brief conversation when a nurse appeared with the dreaded breathing treatment apparatus. It was designed to make him hack up a lung and the pounding headache he always got from the twice-daily treatments was barely tolerable and it made him snappish.

"Oh, joy! Just when the headache from this morning's session passes, you show up to bring it back. Surely medical science has progressed enough for even cretins to realize that these things are causing me pain and distress?"

The nurse winced but she had a job to do. This patient was suddenly waspish and insulting and there were standing orders to alert Dr. Flynn to any behavioral changes. While she sympathized with him, she still had her orders.

When the treatment was done, she walked back to her station and made notes in his chart and called and left a voice mail for his neurologist requesting pain medication for his headaches.

Sheldon leaned back against his pillow and cursed like a sailor. His fists were twisting the bed covers as the headache came pounding back with a vengeance. He felt around for the nurse's call button but couldn't find it. His vision started to 'gray out'.

At the nurse's station alarms started bleeping and suddenly an entire platoon of doctors and nurses crammed themselves into the Sheldon's small room.

His heart rate, blood pressure and most importantly his cerebral pressure were all in the 'red zone'. Their patient was in trouble.

* * *

"It was another bleed in approximately the same place as the original and we simply cauterized it and we're confident that there will be no reoccurrence. All his vitals are in the 'green' and happening here was the most opportune. He wouldn't have survived if he'd been at home."

"What about his memory problem? Will this fix it?" Penny sat across from Leonard who was shooting daggers at her. Ever since Leonard had received the call about Sheldon, he'd been bitchy. He especially bitched when Penny had cried the whole drive to the hospital.

He isn't even here and he's messing things up for us. Why can't I catch a break? I need to have my name removed from his emergency contact list. That'll solve a big problem right there.

"When can we see him?" Leonard mentally cringed hearing the concern in his girlfriend's voice for someone who didn't even remember her.

"Perhaps tomorrow. Call the ICU station for instructions. Give him 24 hours to rest before he has to deal with all of you. He may not want visitors for a while."

This really upset Penny for some reason and it was waterworks time again and Leonard just gave a put-upon sigh and tried to hold her hand and comfort her.

"Penny, he's had brain surgery. He needs time to recover and he doesn't need us pestering him about how he feels and if he remembers anything. He doesn't need the stress right now, right, doctor?"

"Um, well, yes. He definitely doesn't need any stress at this point in his recovery."

"Okay, but if he asks for us, you'll call, right? We're his friends and he's all alone and doesn't even really remember us."

"Certainly, as soon as he's up for it and wants visitors, he can have them."

As the group filed out of the conference room and prepared to leave, Leonard said he had to ask the doctor another question and hurried after him.

At the nurses' station, he made certain that Sheldon Cooper's emergency contact was changed to Mary Cooper and he gave them her number in Galveston.

Raj had followed Leonard because he had Sheldon's journals with him. He'd originally intended to give them to Sheldon when he visited that evening but now he was simply going to leave them with his nurse.

He missed his friend and wanted him back, even if he did constantly belittle him. He'd created a job that kept Rajesh from being deported even after the Can Opener Affair. He owed Sheldon every chance at getting his memories back.


	4. The Renaissance Begins

Chapter 4

The Renaissance Begins

A/N: I just discovered that I have reviews! Thank you all for the positive feedback although I'm certain the Shamy/Lenny crowd will soon begin 'guest reviews' to undercut this fic. Still, if they take the time to zing me, it means I zinged them first! Shenny rulz!

* * *

Rather than plough through all the angst, here is what happens between his 2nd operation and this chapter.

_No one comes to pick him up when he's finally discharged. He figures they're all working but in fact, the hospital contacted his mother and left a voice mail regarding his discharge. Since Sheldon doesn't have his phone or even the memory of their phone numbers, he can't call any of his alleged friends so he takes a cab back to his apartment. He's been told to rest, avoid stress and not to plan on returning to work for at least a month._

_No one is home when he arrives but he correctly assumes it's a workday and thus everyone is busy so he packs a bag with his new clothes and makes reservations for a train to Galveston. He hasn't been cleared for air travel yet. He has an enormous stack of pill bottles for headaches, blood pressure and stress._

_He thinks back to the few visitors he had until he asked the nurses to curtail visitation. He read his journals for the past 5 years and decided he needed some time and space to process all he'd read. His anger prompted the posting of the 'No Visitors Please' placard on his room door. There wasn't a soul in this world that he wanted to see right now. Not one._

_Sheldon has the time and going to Galveston to keep a promise made to strangers will provide the space. He needs to get a grip on his emotions and come to terms with the betrayal at the North Pole. Of all the people in his life, only Penny and Leslie Winkle have been consistent in the way they dealt with Sheldon Cooper, PhD and all-around whack job. His 'best friend,' his Brutus, that smarmy little turd who has Penny under his thumb, will be dealt with in time, of that he is certain._

* * *

Penny and Leonard trudged up the stairs to their apartments. Leonard had to come pick her up at the Cheesecake Factory when her car wouldn't start – again. They were arguing about Penny's car being a piece of crap when they reached the 4th floor landing. There was a white envelope taped to the door and Penny recognized Sheldon's neat scrawl when she saw Leonard's name on the envelope.

"Leonard, when did Sheldon get discharged? Did you pick him up?" She was hurt and angry that Sheldon had requested no visitors. The few times she'd been to see him he'd seemed distant and aloof, rarely talking and answering questions briefly. He seemed mad about something but always said, "I guess I'm just tired, Penny. How are things with Leonard?" That always brought about a change in subject but it was only now that she realized he was deflecting. And she noticed that he no longer peppered his comments with darlin' or Queenie. He always called her Penny and that hurt more than anything.

"No, the hospital didn't call me. Let me check my voice mail…nope. And no missed calls either. How about yours? You two seemed to get mighty chummy until the 'no visitors' thing." Leonard was really good at pushing Penny's guilt button and he did so knowing how she'd react.

"Oh, crap! I left my cell on the charger. I'll be right back." She opened her door and checked her cell. No messages other than a telemarketer selling a cruise (as if she could afford it) and another automated notice from her bank that she was overdrawn (again).

"I got nothing, honey. What's the letter say?" Penny tried to read over Leonard's shoulder but he kept walking to the refrigerator and taking out two bottles of water and tossing one to Penny.

"He's taking the train to Galveston to see his mother and sister. He paid the utilities and the month's rent and says he'll see me when he gets back. Curious. No mention of how he got home from the hospital. I wonder if he called Leslie Winkle? She did overcome her fear of hospitals and visit him regularly until…well, the no visitors thingy. I'll call her."

"Wait! Winkle visited Sheldon regularly? Winkle? She doesn't even like him, Leonard."

Leonard smiled at his girlfriend and pushed his glasses up on his face and said, "Well, maybe she overcame her dislike for him, too. That would be something, wouldn't it, if Sheldon and Leslie Winkle…nah…never happen." He planted his seed. Now all he had to do was water it regularly with subtle one-liners and Penny would focus on him and not that annoyingly tall roommate of his. It was a win-win situation for him either way.

* * *

Sunset Limited  
Somewhere near Phoenix

The older woman next to him talked on and on about anything that crossed her mind. Sheldon didn't want to be rude but she was stressing him out. There was something about her voice that just cut him like a knife and he was so grateful when she'd said she was only going to Phoenix to see her grandchildren. He'd have been beside himself if she'd said 'New Orleans'. He wondered if his short temper was the result of his accident or if he'd always had a short fuse?

"How were you injured, dear?" She finally seemed to notice his 'sweatband' bandage. He could only imagine her comments if he still sported the bandage turban.

"I've been told I was assisting two others in testing a new laser and that something malfunctioned and I was injured in the explosion. I don't remember anything about it. I woke up in the hospital and others had to fill me in on what transpired."

"Oh, you poor dear! Y'know, my 2nd husband was in the Navy and _yada yada yada_…"

Sheldon imagined himself dragging the woman out onto the landing between the coaches and tossing her off. He felt a moment of guilt but quickly suppressed it. Still, watching her body bounce off the rocks did give him a degree of satisfaction and patience. He turned to her and smiled and asked if she'd ever been thrown from a train before?

The woman paled and stood up quickly and found another seat well away from the charming man who'd morphed into a homicidal maniac. Sheldon simply sighed and leaned his seat back, closed his eyes and mentally 'reread' his journals from the Year of the Great Betrayal. He'd learned early on that he had 'eidetic memory' and that he remembered everything. Well, if that were true, why couldn't he remember anything before the accident?

* * *

Galveston

When he got off the train and walked into the waiting room of the small terminal he realized that he didn't know what his sister looked like and felt a moment of panic but realized that she knew what _he_ looked like and all he had to do was wait.

Missy Cooper was late and she tore into the station and saw her brother sitting on a bench, reading over some notebook. He looked the same as always, maybe a bit paler and she liked his new style of clothing. _Maybe Shelly's growing up? Maybe the accident was a blessing in disguise?_

She knew all about amnesia from the movies and decided to test her understanding of it using her brother as a guinea pig. "Hi, mind if I join you?" she asked her brother. She sat down after seeing him glance around the empty waiting room and then look at her curiously.

"Um, no, since you're already sittin', darlin', I guess I don't mind." She was pretty, no, make that beautiful. She was tall and lithe and wore her jeans so tight he could tell she wasn't wearing undergarments. She was full-breasted and had long hair and beautiful blue eyes that he found entrancing.

"So, you waitin' for someone, honey? Need a lift somewhere?" She had watched as his eyes roamed over her body and felt a thrill when she realized her robotic asexual brother was checking her out. A few seconds later she realized that this was her older _brother_ and mentally went 'ewww' but had only herself to blame.

"Waitin' for my sister. She's drivin' up from Galveston. Our mom's in the hospital and I came down from Pasadena to see her. I guess it's a homecoming of sorts." He looked so sad and lost that Missy hated what she'd done. He didn't need to be reminded of his problem and now she felt like a shit for coming on to him like some floozy.

"Shelly, it's me, Missy. I'm sorry for puttin' you on, big brother. I'm – " She started to cry and threw herself around him, hugging him and sobbing into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and rocked her for a few moments while she pulled herself together. "Sorry, Sheldon, I know you don't like being touched and all."

"It's alright, Melissa. Apparently being touched is something I've gotten used to or just plain don't mind. How's our mother?"

She filled him in on the drive to Galveston. The doctors wanted to do bypass surgery but she was opposed to it 'on religious grounds'. "Shelly, she's convinced that this is God's punishment for somin' she'd done bad. She says she's put her trust in Jesus and if it's her time to go, so be it. You know how she gets."

"No, Melissa, I really don't. No memories, remember? Hell, I thought you were a hooker tryin' to pick me up at the station." She batted at his arm and laughed but stopped when she realized he was serious.

"Really, Shelly? A hooker? Why in the world would you think that?"

"You dress like one and I know now that you was just funnin' me but it's what I thought." His accent deepened whenever he got really serious. She blushed red and got really quiet for a few miles.

"It's what I wear to work, Shelly. I tend bar and it's what I'm good at. I dress like this for tips. You wouldn't accuse Penny of being a whore when she gussies up for work, wouldja? No, so don't be passin' judgment on me. Momma does it enough for 10 people."

It got real quiet for a few more miles and then he said, "I'm sorry, Melissa. You're right. I got no place passin' judgment on nobody. I'm a poor judge of character apparently. My choice of friends, for example."

"I see you readin' your journals, Shelly. How's Raj? Kin he talk to women yet?" She had a soft spot for Rajesh Koothrappali. She thought he was sexy as hell and if her momma weren't such a bigot, she would have dated the exotic Indian astrophysicist but that was then and this was now. She had a beau that not even her brother could find fault with.

He'd already forgiven Raj in his own mind. The guy was a natural born follower and probably wouldn't have participated in the Betrayal if it had been just him and Howard but he yearned for approval and acceptance and caved to the pressures of his two friends.

"Raj is fine. He brought me my journals to read in the hospital. And no, he hasn't managed to talk around women yet. You fancy him, Melissa? He's still not able to say word one around women. Not one word without booze."

* * *

Galveston General

Sheldon eased into the room and his mother squealed with joy and held out her arms to him and he willingly hugged the woman who gave birth to him, even kissing her cheek and muttering 'Hello, Mom' much to her delight.

"Oh, Lord, my prayers have been answered. You're healed of all that germophobic nonsense. Praise the Lord!" He hadn't so much as flinched when she gripped his hand nor reached for his Purell. Sheldon sat down after telling Melissa to 'fetch the doctor, Melissa, and tell him I got questions'. He smiled broadly and gave his mom a quick recap of his condition and his plans.

"So iffen you don't mind, I think I'll stay a while and help you get settled in once you get discharged after the surgery. I need time to come to terms with the new me, Mom, and I can't think of a better place than home with you to do it."

There were no further objections from Mary Cooper regarding surgery. She would be released to the care of her son a week later. Melissa Cooper looked at her brother in awe. "Shelly, when did you get so good at understandin' and manipulatin' people?"

"Melissa, she needed the surgery and I really do need a place to rest and get my head on straight. I may not remember any of you but family is family and I need my family and she needs us."

* * *

Meanwhile in Pasadena

"Leonard, I just went out with some girlfriends and was back before 1am. Big deal. I went out and got a buzz and danced and had a good time. I just don't get a zing outta Vintage Game Night like you do. I'm not into Nintendo or – "

"You always seemed to be up for it when Sheldon was around. Explain that to me, huh? Ever since he went to Texas you've been in a bad mood, moping around like your dog ran off or something. Christ, Penny, he isn't even here and he's cock-blocking my ass – "

"What did you say? I can't believe you said that! You know what? Consider this as the ultimate cock-block, you little shit! I don't want to be with you anymore, got it? Yeah, I miss him but for you to even suggest that – "

"You can't be serious! You're breaking up with me?" Leonard knew he'd gone too far but he was jealous of Penny going out and being mauled by guys on the dance floor and how moody she'd been since the whack job had gone to Texas.

"Get out before I throw you out, you little shit! Get out! Get out and don't come back! We are O-V-E-R, Leonard, and that spells 'ended for ever'!" She was livid. Sure, she missed Sheldon but for her supposed boyfriend to even suggest that her desire for sex had disappeared when Sheldon did was ridiculous! Little Leonard just wasn't getting the job done and she was tired of being poked at the drop of a hat and she was tired of him, too.

Sick to death of being broke and in dead-end relationships, she called her mom. She surrendered. There was nothing and no one for her in California. She was going home.

"Hi, Mom? It's Penny…oh, Mom, can I come home?" Her mother handed the phone to her father and said, "It's Penny. She's crying and she wants to come home." Her father answered the phone, said hello, and then walked out onto the verandah and lit a cigarette and had a long talk with his baby girl. Afterwards, he called Western Union and wired her money to get her car fixed up and for the trip home. His little girl needed her family. There was no way he could say no.


	5. The Way We Were

Chapter 5

The Way We Were

* * *

Galveston

Mary Cooper prayed a lot but never before was she so prayerful as she was since her son had come home from California. She prayed for others mostly, but sometimes she'd just voice her thanks in prayer. Everyone said she'd 'turned a corner' and was healthy and happy again.

Sheldon spent a lot of time with his mother, mostly to gain insights into why he'd been such a douche bag of a human being and what caused it. He'd been shocked to discover childhood journals he'd kept since he was eleven and found himself feeling so bad for the little boy who just wanted to be accepted by any group but especially by his own family.

He read how his father was a good man but a bad drunk and how he'd 'whooped up on Momma and George Jr and me if I wasn't quick enough to hide'. His father had taught him how to swim by tossing him off the pier at the lake and walking away. His mother had him tested to make sure he wouldn't go postal and murder them all in their beds. His older brother had beaten the crap out of him on more than one occasion because it bothered him to have a 'smart ass retard' in his family. Only his grandmother, his Meemaw, had accepted him for what he was – a child prodigy, a genius who was smarter than anyone she ever knew.

"Mom, when did Meemaw pass?" Mary looked up at her son and said, "She returned to our Lord in the spring of last year, Shellybean. She was so tired and sick and it was a blessing when she passed in her sleep in her own bed. Would you like to visit her grave, son? Or her house? It's still on the market and I can't get anyone interested in even renting it."

Sheldon began to form the kernel of an idea but didn't mention it. It was too radical even for him to consider without giving it a lot more thought.

"Yes, I think I should. Maybe Sunday after we attend church?" Mary looked up at her son and smiled. There were no swarms of tics covering his face and the dreaded 'Bazinga!' hadn't been heard in her house in ages. "Yes, Sheldon, I think that would be nice."

Mary wasn't allowed to drive and Sheldon couldn't, so it fell to Missy to cart them around. Some of Sheldon's errands left her in stitches but it was his request for a ride to the Texas DMV that had her speechless. "What, Melissa? I want a vehicle for when I return to Pasadena and I can't have one without a driver's license and since we're here…"

By 2pm, Sheldon was a licensed driver in the State of Texas. He'd simply lied to the clerk and told her he'd allowed his California license to expire so he didn't have to go through the 90-day learner's permit period. After all, he was 33 years old and who got to be that age without having a license in California?

He glanced at his cell phone in exasperation. He'd left voicemail after voicemail for Leonard and never got a response. Penny's number had been disconnected but she'd let slip that she was having money problems so Sheldon figured it was either rent or the phone and she'd wisely dropped her service.

* * *

After two weeks in Galveston and unable to get through to either Penny or Leonard, he tried Raj but couldn't get a call to go through and called Howard as a last resort. He hadn't quite made up his mind about the engineer and really didn't want to speak with him but he was desperate.

Howard was very distant on the phone and seemed to want to end the conversation before it even started. Sheldon was tempted to put him on notice that his part in the Betrayal was not going to be overlooked much longer but hesitated. He'd rather do it in person. He could hear Bernadette in the background and he'd no sooner disconnected from Howard than she was calling him.

"Sheldon, how are you? Any luck getting any memories back? We miss you…Shut up, Howie, I miss him…so how's your mom, Sheldon?"

They talked for a few minutes and finally he asked the question that was plaguing him. "How's Penny? Her number's been disconnected and Leonard's being a real tool and not returning my calls or voicemails.."

Bernadette laughed at Sheldon calling Leonard a 'tool'. She never expected something so common or descriptive to ever be uttered by Mr. Homo Novus, so it set her off on a giggle trip. When she finally calmed down, she said simply, "She's gone home, Sheldon." Howard was yelling in the background so Sheldon ended the call saying he'd see them when he got back.

* * *

One thing that bothered Sheldon was his lack of concern for his research into String Theory. He was half afraid that he wouldn't understand the math or physics but he'd surprised himself with being able to exactly reproduce the formulae and algorithms he'd used to develop his theory to the point of the accident. _Strange, I don't remember anything surrounding the formulae but there it is, bigger'n shit. I can't believe I can understand all this mumbo jumbo but I think, yep, almost finished. _

On impulse, he called Leslie Winkle but got her voice mail instead. He asked her if she had the time if she might call him. He wanted to go over some computations and figured she wouldn't mind proofreading his stuff if she had the time. He ended the voicemail message with 'Thanks, Leslie. I still don't remember a damned thing. Call me if you're interested."

He got on the internet and looked up residential listings for 'Queen' in Nebraska. He found almost 2,300 with listed telephones. That didn't include cell phones or unlisted numbers. He racked his brain but couldn't remember what town she lived in. He wanted to talk with her and see how she was doing. He really just wanted to hear her voice. She said that they'd been friends, best friends and yet she never called him and when the conversation during hospital visits strayed into uncomfortable territory, he always brought it back around to Leonard.

* * *

Omaha, Nebraska  
Queen Farms

Penny woke up and stretched. She could hear the familiar sounds of her childhood mornings, her Dad asking if the coffee was ever going to be ready and her Mom patiently saying, 'Wyatt, everyday it's the same thing. Buy a new record, please?' and then there'd be giggling from her mom and a loud 'Wyatt, the kids…' Except that now there was no giggling but everything else was the same.

"Morning." She sat down at the table and her mother handed her a coffee mug and muttered "That's me…Darlene the waitress." Her father pretended not to hear it but she knew he did. When Penny had announced her intentions of going to California and being in the movies her mother had laughed and told her 'fat chance, Penny, you'll just come home with your tail between your legs like so many others before you." She left the next morning with Kurt. There was no way she was ending up stuck here just like her mother and sister. Oh, no. Penny Queen had _plans_.

"I heard that Wilkins' Jewelers is looking for a clerk. You might want to go talk to them. Money don't grow on trees, little girl. Oh, and before I forget, Darcy's coming by this evening to see ya. It's been hard but she's clean and sober now going on a year so don't tempt her, okay?"

"Jesus, Mom, can't I have one day without all the damned drama. I'll find a job as soon as I can. I won't freeload on ya. I'll pay ya back for the loan, too. Just let me have one damned day…"

Her mother skidded her breakfast plate across the table at her and Penny barely kept it from ending up in her lap. Her father got a dark look on his face and said, "Darlene, we're gonna have this out once and for all. She's our daughter and she's welcome here without all the strings and drama, understand me? I seem to remember your brother layin' up here after getting out of jail and not doing a thing around here for months so don't you dare start on her."

Darlene looked like she was going to start crying and Penny suddenly wasn't hungry. She pushed her plate over to her mother's place setting and got up and walked back up to her bedroom. Even with the door closed she could still hear her parents arguing.

_There's no place like home._

* * *

Pasadena

Leslie listened twice to Sheldon's voicemail before daring to breathe. He didn't remember 'a damned thing' but he called on her for her opinion of his latest formulae and computations. The old Sheldon wouldn't have done that in a million years. He would have been afraid that she'd pirate his work and take credit for it. She'd show him she could be trusted. She was no Ramona Nowitzki. She called him right back.

"Sheldon, this is Leslie. Email me your stuff and I'll look it over for errors. No problem at all. I rather appreciate the trust, and – and it's hard for me to ask it, but you really have no reason to trust me, so why are you?"

"You wouldn't have sabotaged a man's life's work, Leslie. Not even to get ahead in the male-dominated field of physics. You have far too much class and integrity for that. I'll email you tomorrow, darlin'. I have to pick up my sister from work and I don't care much for night driving yet. Thanks again."

"Sheldon – you drive?" She was surprised considering how he'd objected to the entire procedure here in California.

"Yep. I even bought a used truck, a really old one, so if I do become a statistic at least the vehicle won't be much of a loss. I have to go. Let me have your results when you have time."

He started to hang up but an errant thought struck him. "Leslie, do you know what town in Nebraska Penny Queen hails from?" She was struck by how much his speech had changed, acclimated, resurged to earlier times.

"Yes, Sheldon. Omaha. Penny's from Omaha, Nebraska."

* * *

Rogan's Roadhouse Bar & Grill  
Mecklinville, Texas

Sheldon sat at the end of the bar nursing a root beer in a frosty mug. To the casual observer, he was drinking an old-style draft beer, something Rogan's was known for. In actuality, Sheldon found that his resistance to alcohol was still nil and after reading what happened at an awards ceremony at CalTech, he swore off alcohol. He swore a lot more when Missy had brought up the video on YouTube…a lot more. The old Sheldon Cooper would have been appalled at the coarse language that came out of his mouth but V2.0 had no such constraints.

"Here ya go, Shelly. One BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger deluxe. Want a refill?" Missy still wore clothing that Sheldon found alluring on other women just not on his sister but he'd learned to keep his big mouth shut about it. He was learning which battles to fight and which to step back from.

Missy looked at her big brother with a critical eye but had to admit Sheldon was appropriately dressed although the loafers clashed with his granddaddy's old Resistol Stetson and Sheldon's work shirt and jeans. He was spending more and more time at Meemaw's old place, fixing things that needed fixing, repairing fences and cleaning out the drainage ditches that lined the half mile gravel road from the County road to her place. He wore his granddaddy's work boots when doing his repairs.

"You know you don't have to pay, Shelly, seein' as how you gots a sister workin' the bar." She took his money and rang up the sale and then toured the bar, pouring whiskey and drawing beer. Sheldon had cringed at her speech the first few days he'd been home but now just translated it into English without comment. As for not paying, well, that was theft, pure and simple and he was an honest man.

Melissa asked Sheldon when he was leaving and he looked at her and smiled. "Am I cramping your style that much, Melissa?" He still didn't call her Missy despite her threats. "No, actually I kinda like havin' you around, Shelly-Bean. I just know all this must be boring the shit outta you and you're patience is amazing to those who knew you from before. I just figger you must be missin' your job and friends and – "

"I intend to go back to Pasadena, tie up some loose ends and then come home, Melissa. I have an IQ of 187 and my 'job' is portable. The only thing I need I have between my ears. Besides, there are several Universities within easy driving distance who must be hungry for an almost-Nobel Laureate. I can teach part time and – "

"Sheldon Lee Cooper! You ain't cut out to be no dirt farmer and besides all ya really need is a good woman and I been on the lookout fer one fer ya." She knew her brother was lonely and missed a certain someone and that certain someone lived and worked in Omaha. Still, she loved her brother and would always look out for him.

"Oh, good Lord, Melissa Jean Cooper, I have my work and my goals. Right now there's no room for anyone in my life. Hell, Missy, I don't even remember a damned thing before the accident and what woman wants a man who has no past? No, ma'am. I have things to do in Pasadena and people to do them to. Then I'll come home. Mom isn't getting any younger and Georgie Jr is a waste of life and you got your own life to live. Nope, keep lookin' but don't go committin' me to anything. Isn't fair at all."

"Still haven't found her?" She meant Penny, of course. She had also made a list of local girls who'd asked about Sheldon when they saw him in the bar. She dropped and added continuously and never had a slut or one of 'dubious virtue' on the list ever.

"Nope. I guess it's fate. I called 20 Queens each night and I've about run out of those with landlines. I figure her folks have cell phones and there's no way to find one of those numbers nowadays."

"Her daddy's a farmer. Have you thought to look up Cooper Farms?" It was an innocent question but Sheldon's reaction was far from innocent and his mother would have washed his mouth out with lye soap at such language.

No, he hadn't given it a thought.


	6. New Friends, Old Enemies

Chapter 6

* * *

New Friends, Old Enemies

One of the things that Sheldon's doctors and even his psychologist recommended that he use to reduce stress was Tai Chi, an ancient Chinese exercise regimen that was performed daily by a billion or more people of all ages. He ordered the DVD set and each morning he began his routine. The old Sheldon Cooper would have declared it 'hokum' but V2.0 was surprised at the sense of calm and focus he achieved in a short while. By the end of his stay in Galveston, he had mastered the forms on the original DVD set and ordered the advanced program for delivery in Galveston.

He found out, purely by accident, another benefit to Tai Chi: self defense.

Rogan's Roadhouse Bar & Grill  
Mecklinville, Texas

Sheldon sat in his usual spot at the end of the bar nursing his frosted mug of root beer and picking at his BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger. He was mentally preparing himself for his first contact with Penny since he requested 'no visitors' in Pasadena but the noise level made concentration difficult so he just turned and watched the crowd. Missy was doubling as a waitress for a section of the tables and he kept an eye on her. The crowd included a group of college boys home for the holidays. They were loud and had been drinking heavily.

One of them grabbed Missy's ass and she turned and slapped him hard enough to knock him back in his chair. His friends thought this was hilarious and laughed and made jokes about him. He was a big man, as tall as Sheldon and definitely in better shape and his pride had been hurt and he had had a lot of beer to drink – a bad combination all around.

Missy had bussed several tables and was carrying a large tray of empty bottles and mugs when the drunk grabbed her around the waist and pulled her down onto his lap. The tray and bottles and mugs fell to the sawdust floor and there was broken glass all over. Missy was squirming to get away and Sheldon covered the 20 feet without thinking and grabbed his sister and pulled her up and into his arms and then pushed her gently towards the bar.

He was turning to give the guy a piece of his mind for mauling his sister but the drunk was up and sent a roundhouse punch at Sheldon's head. It was over before it began. Sheldon pushed the drunk's arm further into the arc of the swing and then bent his knees and lunged, one leg forward, his arm held out in front of him like a spear or sword. His stiffened fingers hit the drunk in his solar plexus and he went down on his knees and vomited up most of the beer he'd drank – all over Sheldon's loafers.

"You'll pay for the broken glass and never show up here again. That was my sister you were man handling. Now, you and your friends settle up your tab and hit the road." He felt sick to his stomach both at what he'd done and the smell of the man's vomit.

The puking drunk's friends all started bowing up and figured to beat the crap out of Sheldon when they stopped dead at the sound of a pump shotgun ratcheting a shell up into the chamber. "You boys pick up your friend and leave $30 on the bar for the glassware and like the man said, don't show your asses here again or you'll deal with me and you won't get off so lightly."

They grabbed their friend, left a bunch of bills on the bar and disappeared. "Boy, Sheldon, you sure know how to handle yourself now. If'n youda done that in the playground youda escaped the dreaded Atomic Wedgie I used to give ya." The big man smiled and offered his hand. "How ya been, Sheldon? It's been what, 25 years since I usta terrorize you? I heard about your accident from Missy. You really don't remember me at all, do you?"

The man's fractured accent disappeared the longer he talked. He owned the bar and wanted to talk to him about Missy when he had the chance. "I'm Mike Rogan but that doesn't mean anything to you, I know, but I really want to talk to you about Missy since you're the only man in the Cooper clan with any damned sense."

The long and the short of it was that Mike wanted to formally ask permission to court Missy although they'd been dating since she came to work at the bar almost a year earlier. "I don't want anyone thinking that I'm taking advantage by being her boss. If she found another job tomorrow I'd miss her but would be glad because it would make dating a lot easier and stop the old biddies from gossiping about us."

Missy smiled at Mike and then at her brother. He couldn't say 'no' to her and wouldn't anyways. He liked Mike Rogan even if he didn't remember him or have a clue what an Atomic Wedgie was although it was probably embarrassing to a 7 or 8 year old.

"Sure. Just make sure you treat her right. Now, if you don't mind, I have to do something about these shoes or you'll have more vomit to clean up. Drop by the house sometime and we'll talk."

* * *

Pasadena

The Three Amigos were eating lunch when Eric Gabelhauser strolled up and asked them if they'd heard from Sheldon lately. His leave was up in a few days and once he cleared medical, Gabelhauser was looking forward to having him back. Dr. Winkle had mentioned how he'd emailed her some new research for her to double check and she'd been really impressed with its potential. That piqued his interest because despite being a colossal pain in the ass, Sheldon Cooper was a grant and donation magnet for the school.

"No, I haven't heard from him," lied Leonard. Technically, he had _not_ heard from him since he'd deleted all those annoying voicemails without listening to any of them.

Howard started to leave the table but Gabelhauser wasn't done yet. "Wolowitz, what about you? Heard from Sheldon?"

"My wife spoke with him a few weeks ago but it was a personal conversation so I don't know details except that his memory was still gone." He conveniently neglected to mention his owe conversation with Sheldon.

"Well, even on leave he's still working on his theories according to Dr. Winkle. I'm sure you all wish for his quick return." He walked away, surprised at the lack of interest either of the scientists had shown. He would talk with Leslie in more depth when he found the time.

"It's been so peaceful around here without the dipstick mouthing off. I don't have to give written notice of an overnight guest now. I just bring her in, hit the couch and nudge her towards the door in the morning." Leonard had been hitting the bars almost every night and he almost always 'found' someone to keep him company. He had that stupid 'look what I got' grin on his face that used to rankle Howard before Bernadette.

Howard felt a pique of envy but ignored it. He was happily married and didn't have to nudge his nookie out the door in the morning. He loved his wife and his days of fooling around, even in his mind, were definitely over. He knew a good thing when he saw it and he saw it roll over and smile at him every morning.

"I don't know, Leonard. The new Sheldon is pretty cool. He listens and makes comments without that holier-than-thou attitude and he never commented one time on my lack of PhD. I kind of liked him."

"He drove Penny away. I don't know what or how he did it, but he drove away the woman I love. I'll never forgive him, never!"

"Listen to you! You drove her away. Girls talk, and she told Bernadette the whole sad story, Leonard. You and your petty jealousies…" Leonard looked up in shock but Howard was halfway across the cafeteria before he could do more than blink a few times.

He turned to Raj who was still sitting quietly, eating his chef salad. "I suppose you agree with Howard? You think I drove her away, too?"

"What I think doesn't matter. What happened does. Yes, you drove her away but it was your treatment of her that made it easier for her to end it. I don't know if she loved you but you treated her like arm candy and a sex toy. Penny is a beautiful woman in her own right and has no need of someone in her life who treats her like monkey's feces." He tossed his salad in the trash and left, smiling to himself.

* * *

Omaha

Queen Farms

Penny soaked in the tub, enjoying the quiet and the hot water that soothed her aching feet. Wilkin's had a dress code and wearing high heels for 7 hours a day made her feet and calves ache. Dancing in 4-inch heels seemed so much easier than standing in them. The water was cooling and she forced herself to leave the tub and dress.

Speaking of cooling, things between her and her mother weren't any better but her Dad seemed to ignore the friction and hostility and treated her just fine. Her sister was coming over for dinner again and Penny found herself actually enjoying her older sister's company. She was a whole different person sober.

"Penny, get the damned phone, will ya?" Her mother considered the phone an interruption when she was in the kitchen whether actually cooking or just sitting with a cup of coffee. She didn't answer phones.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Penny, it's me, Bernadette. I miss you and just thought I'd call and see how you were doing out there in the heartland."

"How'd you get this number? It's the farm line." She didn't have a cell phone and wouldn't dream of giving anyone her mom's cell phone number.

"Directory assistance, dummy! It just isn't the same without you around, Penny. Amy's off in a funk because her monkey won't respond to nicotine patches and eats them and then smokes up a storm. Uh, she's dating Stuart from the comic book store. Howard talked to Sheldon a couple of weeks ago. His mom's doing better after bypass surgery and he's getting on well in Texas. He asked about you and all I told him was that you'd gone home for a while. He tried calling Leonard but his calls went to voicemail and he never called him back."

"Has he gotten his memory – what's so funny, Bernadette?" Bernadette had another giggle fit and Penny waited for the snort that signified the end before speaking again.

"Sorry, it's just that Sheldon called Leonard a 'tool' and I giggled myself sick on the phone and then thinking of it again and hearing that Texas accent in my mind…I'm sorry, I didn't call so you could listen to me giggle."

"Bernadette, I asked if he got any of his memories back. Has he?" It was like pulling teeth to get anything out of her.

"No, but that was a couple of weeks ago. He called to get your new number but I didn't have it. He's coming back to Pasadena any day now. Should I tell him where you are and give him this number?"

"No. If he wants to talk, he'll figure out my number." She sounded resigned and bitter even to herself. Like a woman scorned.

"That's not fair! He doesn't remember where you live or that you live on a farm only that you've moved back home with your parents. If you really don't want to talk to him, just say so and I'll be sure he gets told. He doesn't know about you and Leonard, either. Why are you punishing him for something that's not his fault?"

"Bernadette, my mom needs to use the phone. I have to go. I'll call you when I have more time to talk."


	7. A Dish Best Served Cold

_A/N: Queen/Cooper Farms...the risk when writing 3 chapters simultaneously. Good catch_

* * *

Chapter 7

A Dish Best Served Cold  
CalTech University  
Pasadena

Rajesh Koothrappali stood outside Dr. Eric Gabelhauser's office and smiled at the pretty receptionist who smiled back warmly and told him that he could go right in. He was right on time for his appointment and expected.

Raj marched up to Gabelhauser's desk and extended a crisp white envelope with Dr. Gabelhauser's name on it and wet his lips and said, "Dr. Gabelhauser, I am resigning my position at CalTech. I have done a terrible thing and I can no longer live with myself. I have shamed myself and helped derail the career of a man I have grown to admire and respect. Thank you for the opportunity to work here but I am returning to India once I have made proper amends to Dr. Cooper."

Eric leaned back in his chair and nodded sagely and then pointed to a chair and barked 'Sit!' and Raj sat, almost missing the chair in his haste. Eric toyed with the envelope almost enjoying the younger man's shame and humiliation.

"I presume you're talking about the Polar Expedition led by Dr. Cooper some time back, are you not?"

"Yes, I participated in a plot – " Eric cut him off.

"Raj, Raj, Raj, surely you don't think we here at the University didn't suspect something had been done to alter the data Cooper recorded, did you? A man as precise and meticulous in his planning and execution would never have accepted such data unless he was fed faulty data from trusted companions?"

Raj felt tears building up in his eyes and he could only nod in agreement. "Take this envelope back, Dr. Koothrappali. Cooper needs people around him he can trust and I, for one, believe his actions in creating a position for you are far more indicative of forgiveness and therefore of trust. Go back to work, Raj, but thank you for manning up and having the balls to admit your part in that perfidious cabal to ruin a good man's career."

Raj took back the envelope that held his resignation and cast a watery smile in his boss' direction and almost ran from the office.

He immediately called his best friend, Howard, to meet for lunch without Leonard. Howard was immediately suspicious. "What have you done now, Raj?" He knew that tone of voice and he also knew that Raj had been very upset by Leonard's comments at lunch. They'd talked about it and both decided that Leonard was being an ass and that they should distance themselves until he came to his senses.

"I have only done the ethical thing. I do not wish to be discussing this in public. Meet me at the snack bar in 30 minutes."

* * *

CalTech Experimental Physics Labs

Sheldon strolled down the corridor following the directions given him by Dr. Gabelhauser's receptionist and quickly found himself at a door bearing the placard 'Leslie Winkle, PhD' and knocked politely and heard a muttered "Come in" and stepped into Leslie's office.

"Sheldon!" Leslie stepped around her desk and extended her hand, uncertain how to greet him but he took her hand and gently pulled her into a brief embrace. She was stunned and stepped back and looked at the 'new' Sheldon Cooper. He was dressed in a gray pinstriped suit with a light blue shirt and muted tie and wingtips! "Wow, Sheldon, you look…"

"Like an adult? Don't worry, I'm still clueless me. I just wanted to stop by and thank you in person for reviewing my research. Your comments were of significant value and I believe we should publish our findings together. After all, you found the error that made everything flow flawlessly to solution."

She frowned and crossed her arms under her small breasts and then muttered "Bazinga! I knew it was too good to be true. Damn you, Cooper – "

"No Bazinga, Leslie. I'm a rule breaker now and the first rule I decided to break was 'No good deed goes unpunished'. I think CalTech has room for _two_ Nobel Laureates, don't you?" What he didn't tell her was that he wasn't staying at CalTech. He was going to request a sabbatical and take care of some personal issues after they jointly published their paper proving String Theory. After all, the Nobel Selection Committee wouldn't announce for a few months although he was quite certain what they'd done was a 'slam-dunk'.

They agreed to meet later in the week and begin writing their paper. As he was leaving, she called out, "Hey, Dumbass…thank you." He smiled and left. He had to pick up forms from HR and then inform Eric Gabelhauser about their joint publication plans.

* * *

Leaving Galveston and his mom and sister had been more stressful than he thought it would be. Even without his memory, tears still made him very uncomfortable. His mother hung on his arm the entire drive to the airport in Houston while Melissa peppered him with questions that he couldn't always fully answer.

"When can we expect ya back, Shelly?" She asked that question in several forms: "How long ya gonna be gone?" and "If ya tie up those loose ends you keep talking about, will you be home for Thanksgiving?" He always gave the same answer: "I'm not sure. It depends upon other people, but I will definitely be home for Christmas."

"Alone, Shelly?" Melissa was on his ass constantly to 'call her before she finds someone else, Shelly!" but he always had some reason to 'do it tomorrow' and as a child he'd quickly realized that 'tomorrow' never really came. It was always off there in the future.

He hadn't called her yet.

"Missy Cooper…" his mother growled and Missy had smirked and said, "Well, I gots to prepare if we gonna have an outta town guest, Momma."

* * *

2311 N Los Robles

Sheldon stood in front of his apartment and again debated getting a hotel room and delaying the inevitable confrontation with Leonard. The old Sheldon was dismayed by conflict but _this_ Sheldon wasn't going to give the little shit bag any quarter. Thanks to Bernadette's insatiable need to tell anything she'd heard, his few conversations with her had filled in the blanks quite nicely.

Leonard had been jealous of the attention Penny paid to him in the hospital, even though he'd been unconscious most of the time. He'd even told Penny that their sex life had died when Sheldon had gone home to Galveston although Sheldon doubted that. It was probably Penny just being tired of being treated like a possession instead of a loved one.

Whatever the truth was, Penny had kicked the little worm out of her life and then gone back to her birthplace to lick her wounds and begin living life anew. Leonard didn't seem too heartbroken since Howard had told Bernadette all about his nightly 'conquests'.

The door was locked so he pounded on it, suddenly angry. He didn't have his keys. He could hear music and a woman's laugh so he knew his former best friend and roommate was 'entertaining'. He pounded furiously on the door and finally shouted, "Open the fuckin' door, Leonard!"

Leonard and what's-her-name were half undressed and neither was feeling any pain so when Leonard heard Sheldon's shout through the door he just laughed and tried to figure out how to undo a bra one-handed while holding a drunk girl with the other. There was a huge crash and the door swung open on warped hinges revealing a very pissed-off Sheldon Cooper.

Sheldon stalked into the room and stood at the end of the couch. The girl had given a little scream when the door had slammed open against the wall and then bounced open again – or maybe it was Leonard.

"Sheldon, what the fuck?" Leonard tried to pull up his pants and stand and do several things a drunken man shouldn't try and he ended up on his ass between the coffee table and the couch.

Sheldon pointed at the half-naked slut sprawled drunkenly across the couch and growled, "You! Out!" She scurried out the broken door pulling down her skirt and trying to button her blouse and still keep her footing and get away.

Sheldon looked down at Leonard and said softly, "You're pathetic. No wonder she left you. This is how deep your love for her went? Out whoring around every night? You didn't deserve her and I'm glad she's gone. Now get up and sit on the couch and for God's sake, pull up your drawers, Leonard."

Maybe it was his tone or maybe the look on his face but Leonard crawled up onto the couch and sneered at him. "I suppose you think you deserve Penny? Well, let me tell you a thing or two – " but Sheldon cut him off with "Nope. She deserves better'n either of us. We're both sorry damn excuses for men and Penny needs someone who's not neurotic and brain damaged like me or an insecure, selfish, backstabbing little bastard like you. I know all about the Polar Expedition and the Can Opener, Leonard. Now it's time to pay the piper, Hofstadter."

Leonard felt fear for the first time. He didn't know this Sheldon Cooper. Maybe the blow to the head and the second bleed created this raging monster. He figured a strong offense was the best defense. Confront him and let him deny how he drove them all crazy.

"You were lucky I had the idea for the can opener to give you false positives. Raj wanted to throw your Kindle out into the snow and lock you out and Howard had this crazy idea for a crossbow. You drove us nuts and we had to do something to end the expedition and get away from you." He was still drunk and he'd let his mouth run away with him.

Sheldon looked very sad and softly asked Leonard, "Do you know why I asked you three to go with me to the Pole? It's because you were my friends and I trusted you. I was so happy and so proud that I couldn't wait to tell the world, yes, the world, what _we'd_ done. I was going to share credit with you all for my discovery. You lost Penny to your insecurities and you lost your shot at fame and glory to your impatience and intolerance and now," he held up his cell phone, "and now, you're going to lose your job and your professional reputation. Thanks a bunch for the confession, Hofstadter."

Leonard looked shocked and tried to grab the cell phone to delete the recording but Sheldon stepped back and said coldly, "Try that again and I'll beak your arm, Hafling."

"You got your memories back!"

"Nope, sadly still a blank slate up there but I did keep journals and what I wasn't sure of, Raj filled me in. I have an 8:30 appointment with Dr. Gabelhauser tomorrow morning to discuss my proof of – excuse me, _our_ proof of String Theory. I'll let him decide what to do with you. Leslie and I will be far too busy with our paper and then the interviews and, well, you know."

He turned and walked out of the apartment after deciding that a hotel room was a good idea after all.

* * *

He laughed when Howard had approached him and begged him for forgiveness since he'd blabbed the truth about the Polar Fiasco to his wife and she was making his like a living hell until he apologized and received Sheldon's forgiveness. "Please, Sheldon, I know what we did was wrong and I know I don't deserve it but Bernie's threatening to leave me over this. Please, Sheldon."

He forgave Howard but more because his wife was his friend than Howard was truly contrite. It really didn't matter at this point. Everything he'd set out to accomplish was done and now he was at loose ends.

* * *

Two Months Later  
Queen Farms  
Omaha, Nebraska

Penny was almost asleep after a killer day at work. Her feet and calves ached and her hot bath hadn't helped much. Her mother knocked at the door and quietly said, "Penny, there's a phone call for you. Do you know a Melissa Cooper?"

"Yes! Yes, tell her I'll be right down." She grabbed her robe and ran down the stairs. _Oh, God, something must have happened to Sheldon for her to call me here!_

She grabbed the phone and said, "Hello, Missy? What's wrong? Is it Sheldon? Oh, God, he's had another bleed, hasn't he?" She stared at the phone when she heard Missy chuckle.

"Lord, no, Penny. I'm getting' hitched and I need a Maid of Honor and I was hopin' you could find time in your life to be mine. It's gonna be a small weddin' and you know Momma's gonna have everything planned out to the last guest leavin' the reception on time. Um, feel free to bring a 'plus one', Penny."

"Missy, I'll have to get time off from work. Do you have a date set yet?" It was October and she figured that Missy got herself 'in the family way' because the last she'd heard, she wasn't dating anyone.

"It'll be after Shelly and Leslie get back from Stockholm in December. We're shootin' for January 15th so check with your bosses and let me know. I really want to have you in the weddin' but if you can't make it, I understand about work and all."

"Yeah, Missy, I'd love to be your MOH but shouldn't Leslie Winkle be the MOH? After all, she's Sheldon's girlfriend now, right, if he's taking her to – Oh My God! Moon Pie won the Nobel Prize! Holy shit!"

"Penny, if you have feelings for my brother, you best be at the weddin', that's alls I'm saying'. He's done all he set out to do and he's lost, Penny, like that Alexander feller he quoted who cried 'cause he ran out of places to conquer. He still ain't got his memories back and the docs have given up on him just like everyone else has. Look, call me when you know sumthin'. Night, Penny."

Mary Cooper smiled at her daughter. "I think that went very well, Missy. Think she's gonna come?"

"Oh, yeah. I could hear the jealousy in her voice when she said Winkle must be Shelly's girlfriend. Girl don't watch the news apparently or she'd know but that works out fine for us."


	8. Dearly Beloved

For Risknight who languishes in the cold icy grip of winter and probably wishes offing rude customers wasn't illegal simply frowned upon.

* * *

Chapter 8

Dearly Beloved8

_I don't want to drag you through all the stuff that happened after Sheldon's confrontation with Hofstadter or the details of how he spent the next months – but Leonard lost his job and the last anyone heard, he was a substitute teacher in New Jersey and living in a small apartment above his mother's garage._

* * *

Sheldon and Leslie moved in together in apartment 4A since they'd be spending almost all their time together anyway working on their paper and scheduling interviews and traveling to various locales giving lectures. She took over Leonard's bedroom while Sheldon kept his old room although he sold his comic book collection and collectible action figures at auction, adding the money to his Foundation account. The room was soon covered in white boards.

He donated his pre-amnesia clothing to a charity but they sent it back. He ended up giving the t-shirts to the Comic Book Store figuring Stuart could frame them as advertising or whatever he wanted to do. It didn't surprise him at all to run into Stuart and Amy at the Farmer's Market. Stuart was wearing his beloved Flash t-shirt and Amy looked like a deer in the headlights but he just smiled, chatted a bit and then took Leslie by the hand and walked away.

"Cooper, what the hell!" She snatched her hand away and he just chuckled. "Planting seeds and spreading rumors, Leslie, nothing more. Your virtue is safe from my marauding urges." Leslie looked back and saw the look on Amy's face and laughed and then grabbed his arm and whispered, "Bazinga!"

Leslie was offered a tenured position after Sheldon declined it. At first she was insulted but then Sheldon explained his intentions and she gladly accepted the chair. Gabelhauser had a conniption when he found Sheldon's postdated letter of resignation in his morning mail the day Sheldon left on sabbatical. His resignation was effective on the final day of his 3-month sabbatical.

He relocated to Galveston and hid from public scrutiny, only giving telephone interviews, a whack job to the end (or so the general public was led to believe). It made things easier for him. His disdain for publicity moved the focus to Leslie, just as he intended. He saw her picture on the cover of Scientific American and Vogue (Missy's copy) and smiled.

The only thing missing in his life was someone to share it with. This was a new feeling for either of the Sheldons, either the whacked original or V2.0. V2.0 handled it better than his original ever could. He simply lived each day as it came believing that time would provide a remedy to the emptiness he felt.

The very worst times were when he was in a strange city, in a strange hotel bed late at night. That's when the emptiness began to expand as he had nothing to do except stare at the dark hotel room ceiling and ponder his situation.

He was lonely.

* * *

Sheldon's lawyer and accountant prepared weekly reports for him on Foundation issues and emailed them to wherever he happened to be. He had used his contacts at CalTech to line up a nice stable of donors who believed in what he was doing. Now that he had financial backing, he was flitting about the world recruiting, headhunting, and lining up even more donors for his Foundation. One never had enough money.

He was in Helsinki boarding a plane when his sister called him about a problem with her impending marriage to Mike Rogan. He and Mike had become fast friends, especially since Mike knew cattle. One of Sheldon's side ventures was to convert a sizeable portion of his Meemaw's land to cattle and he looked to Mike for advice. The rest would provide land for his main endeavor.

It was technically his mother's land by inheritance but when he explained what he wanted to do, she sold it to him for a dollar, a Snickers bar and an annual supply of beef from future Cooper Farms.

"Hello, Melissa. Anything wrong?" He missed talking his sister and his Mom and he laughed when people told him the 'old Sheldon avoided them like dirty socks'. Since Missy and Mike had announced their wedding and ignited his mother's 'Wedding Planner' module, he'd avoided any talk about weddings like…well, a dirty sock so he avoided such calls.

"Shellybean, I want to ask Penny Queen to be my Maid of Honor. I don't want things to be awkward for you at my wedding, Shelly, so if you don't want her to be there, I just won't ask her, okay? After all, you're paying for it from your Nobel Prize money so I figure you got a say-so."

"Okay." He hung up and was going over their itinerary for the week when his cell rang again. It was Melissa, again.

"Okay, she can be my Maid of Honor or okay, you'd rather her not be there? Which is it, Sheldon?"

"It's your one and only wedding, Melissa, so if you want her to be your Maid of Honor, it's okay with me." He hung up again and turned back to his itinerary and made notes on an iPad about various things. His phone rang again ten minutes later.

"Hello, Melissa, what do you want this time?" Only three people in the world had this number and his mother would never call him and he was sitting beside Leslie Winkle so it had to be his sister.

"I called Penny and asked her and she said she'd have to check with her bosses and I told her the wedding was January 15 and I don't remember if I told you we set a date or not so I'm calling to tell you that Penny will probably be my Maid of Honor and the wed – "

"Breathe, Melissa, you can't rattle off that many words without passing out. Darlin', you already told me about the date and I hope Penny can see her way clear to be your Maid of Honor. We're getting ready to take off, Melissa, so – "

"She's bringing a 'plus one', Shelly."

Dead silence.

"Shelly? You there?"

"Melissa, I have to turn off the phone now. We're taking off."

"You have the most interesting conversations with Missy, Sheldon," said Leslie Winkle, his traveling companion for another lecture and interview.

* * *

In Galveston, his sister turned off her cell and looked at her mother. "He sounded so sad and tired, Momma. Maybe I shouldn't have told him about the 'plus one'. I don't want him stressin' out over Penny."

"I daresay that Penny is never far from you brother's thoughts, Missy. Now, what cake have you and Mike selected?" Her prayer circle had been workin' overtime on the whole Sheldon/Penny problem. It was up to a higher power now if they were ever to get together.

Somewhere over the Russian Federation

_Plus one? She met someone in Omaha. I waited too long and now – maybe I'll just skip the wedding. Mike's brother can be the best man and –_

"You feeling alright, Sheldon? You look a little pale. Your Russian sucks, so let me do the lecture and you just relax. You _did _bring your meds, didn't you? Maybe you should just take a few days to yourself, tour the museums…maybe take a train to some remote spot just to decompress."

Winkle worried about her friend's health. There was always something needing to be done, some person to see, an interview to give and the pace was daunting even for her and she hadn't had her brain scrambled twice. And then there was the elephant in the room that no one dared talk about – Penny Queen.

"I'm fine. Just thinking about something Melissa said, that's all." He pulled out his pad and checked some dates and then asked, "Can you handle this week on your own, Leslie? I think I need some down time and maybe I'll just go home."

_Maybe I should just blow off everything, claim health issues and just hole up some place no one knows or cares about Dr. Sheldon Cooper and lick my wounds. I'll make Melissa's wedding, of course, but until then…_

_She's bringing a 'Plus One' to the wedding._

Winkle was observant. Winkle was smart and observant. Winkle was smart, observant, and a meddler.

* * *

Omaha, Nebraska

_I should have told her that I couldn't get off work. I don't want to see him happy with someone else. I should have called him but I let my stubborn pride and hurt feelings get in the way and now…_

She'd just crawled back into bed after talking about the whole Sheldon Cooper deal with her mom. It felt good to get it all out for once. Her mom hadn't said much, just listened and nodded and then made them fresh coffee. But when she did talk, oh boy.

"Penny, you can't hide here in the boondocks and ignore how you feel. If this whack-a-doodle is the one you want, go get him. So what if he's a brainiac and you're…not. He's your best friend and they make the best lovers and husbands. Besides, everyone knows the Best Man always hooks up with the Maid of Honor at weddings in the movies."

"Mom! It's not like that. He's different now and he's not interested. He has this 18th century set of morals and – and I was with Leonard – and he was too much a gentleman to – oh, what I mess I made of this."

"You have two months to fix it. Don't waste the time. Call him. See how he's doing. Maybe plan on seeing each other before the wedding – "

"He's in Europe with Winkle. I doubt he has the time to talk with me. Winkle probably keeps him…he's probably too busy, Mom." Leslie used sex like some people used aroma therapy to reduce tension or so Leonard had said once when he was drunk.

She'd just fallen asleep again when her mother knocked at her door and said, softly, "Penny, phone call. Do you know a Leslie Winkle? Isn't she the one - "

She pulled on her robe, brushed past her mom and padded downstairs to the farm phone. "Leslie? It's Penny. What's wrong? Is it Sheldon?"

Leslie Winkle had waited until her companion had dozed off and made her way to the First Class Lounge and began plotting against Sheldon Cooper, PhD and Nobel Prize Designee. She had his iPhone and his iPad in her hands.

The new Sheldon was just as much a dumbass about some things as the old one was – especially about women. He was very naive and sweet and courtly. He needed a kick in the ass to get him to where he needed to be.

Leslie first called Melissa and got a recap of the conversations she only heard one side of. "A 'plus one'? She's bringing a 'plus one' to the wedding?"

"Um, no. I just told her she could. I did tell Shelly she was bringing a 'plus one' though. Maybe he'll finally get up the nerve to call her and settle this once and for all."

"He won't call her. He thinks she's found someone else now and he's too damned honorable to get in her way. I got things to do, Melissa. He's coming home. He's tired and this damned Penny drama isn't good for him."

She made reservations for him to fly out the next afternoon to London and then on to connectors to Houston. He was right. He needed to go home.

She thought about the time difference and then decided she didn't care and used his phone to dial a number she'd watched him stare at many times in the past.

A woman answered the phone and then told Leslie to 'hold on, I'll wake her', and before long –

"Leslie? It's Penny. What's wrong? Is it Sheldon?"

"Yes, it's Sheldon. He's – do you love him, Penny? If you do, you'll be at Houston's George Bush International Airport to meet his flight from London. If you're not there, he'll never know because I'm not telling him about this conversation. Trust me, Penny, the man is yours if you want him but you'd better hurry. He won't stay available long."

"I thought you and he…you moved in together and you travel together and – "

"Separate bedrooms and separate hotel rooms, Barbie. He's my best friend and dear colleague, nothing more. Trust me, Sheldon and I would never work. We're too much alike. You and him…you're each a missing part of the other. I'll email you with his flight info. Like I said, it's all up to you but if you don't show up in Houston, don't you dare show your face at the wedding."

She disconnected the call and signaled an attendant for a drink. She'd earned it. Winkle had fought tooth and nail not to but somehow, even before the accident, she'd fallen in love with Sheldon Cooper. She had hidden it behind derision and insults at first but she had. Now, she was going to break her own heart but do the right thing and let him be with the woman he loved.

She almost hoped that Penny Queen wouldn't show up.


	9. Thanks for the Memories

You get two because a) I'll be out of town and b) curious to see how this chapter sits with the masses

* * *

Chapter 9

Thanks For The Memories

_A/N: Don't hate me. I promise I won't disappoint you, just maybe frustrate you a bit just like the show does. I love happy endings whereas the writers seem out of touch with our characters from the first 3 seasons and seem determined to give us drunk Penny (apparently just to give her screen time) and neurotic Shamy every week. Only Bernadette seems real or maybe it's just me._

* * *

St. Petersburg, Russian Federation

Leslie knocked on Sheldon's hotel room door and waited for him to either yell, "It's open," since he never locked doors, or open the door himself with his usual bright smile. He didn't do either today and the door was locked.

She knocked again and waited. Maybe he was in the shower? She went back to her room. She often suggested connecting rooms if they were working on something or preparing a lecture but he always smiled and took a room on a different floor. _Surely he doesn't think I'm going to slip into his room and have my wicked way with him, does he?_

She called his room directly and the phone rang and rang. Exasperated, she grabbed her purse and went down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast, something they normally did together. It was 'their' time and she always looked forward to it.

He wasn't hard to spot. There were several people sitting around his table gabbing and gesticulating and shoving iPads around and across the table.

_Shit! He's going to be tense and irritable all day now. He still hates to have his schedule interrupted. _

Sheldon spotted her across the room and stood up and said something to the gaggle of people and they all laughed and returned to their own tables or left the restaurant.

One man remained standing and Leslie would have sworn she caught a flash of hatred in his face before Sheldon introduced them. He was a handsome man of 40 or so even with a scar that ran from the tip of his mouth to the corner of one eye. He excused himself after being introduced and left.

Ever the gentleman, he stood and pulled out her chair and then sat down himself.

"Sorry about that. I came down to get a paper and ran into an old classmate from Heidelberg and before I knew it, half of the Academicians in St. Pete were here."

"I'm surprised he recognized you, Shel. You've changed since you were 17."

She almost dropped her cup of tea. He was _twitching!_

"Sheldon Cooper! How long have you had your memory back?" She was pleased, of course, but upset that he hadn't told her. They were friends, colleagues, and surely he knew how –

"I'm not sure I have my 'memory' back, Les, just bits and pieces that seem to pop up from wherever they are. Take for instance, Joachim Steiner. I saw him and 'knew' who he was and the longer I talked with him, the more I remembered about him. It's really not memory returning, just recognition of someone and bits and pieces of their background."

Leslie reached across the table and took his hand in hers and grinned. "Well, I think it's marvelous. It means they're still there, Shel."

He looked uncomfortable and she figured it was his germophobia kicking in but he grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I don't know if I want them back, Leslie. I rather like this Sheldon Cooper. I don't feel the need to count steps, arrange the silverware correctly or any of the other 'whack-a-doodle' things I did. I don't want to revert back to that Sheldon."

"You won't. You know from your journals what experiences contributed to your obsessions and OCD and knowing didn't prompt any behavioral changes, did it?"

He smiled, then. A real smile and Leslie felt the knot of tension loosen in her gut replaced by another kind of tension. She rather liked this version of Sheldon Cooper herself.

* * *

St. Petersburg Airport

"You have your tickets and your itinerary and your passport, right?" Leslie was standing at the departure gate with Sheldon. If Queen met him in Houston, it would mean that she'd lost him forever but she wanted him to be happy and Penny Queen could make him happy.

"Yeah, Les. I have everything right here. Lord, woman, you're worse than my mother sometimes." He saw the hurt in her eyes and hugged her and whispered "Sorry, Leslie. I don't mean to be ungrateful but I _have_ won the Nobel Prize and I _am_ 33 years old."

Leslie pulled away from him before she did something stupid. She was still standing very close and had her palms on his chest so she smoothed out the lapels on his suit coat.

"Have a safe flight and we'll meet up in Toronto in two weeks. Take the time to relax and recharge, Shel. Just promise me one thing."

"Okay. What is it?"

"If you don't find that special someone in your life in Texas, just don't give up? Please? There's always Toronto."

Her brown eyes seemed to swallow him whole and without thinking about it, he leaned down and kissed her. It was a soft, sweet, gentle kiss and Leslie wished it would never end but it did.

"I promise." He grabbed his travel bag, smiled and walked away from her. He didn't see her fingertips trace her lips or the tear slowly fall down her cheek.

Her words to Penny Queen crossed her mind. _Sheldon and I would never work. We're too much alike._

* * *

Aeroflot Flight to London

He thought about the kiss and Leslie Winkle and nothing else the entire flight from St. Petersburg to London. It had been an impulsive thing to do but it just felt so right. He tore apart her words and the promise, parsing it, looking for other meanings but couldn't find any.

He changed planes in London and upgraded to Business Class for the long flight from London to Houston. He had called Melissa and asked her to pick him up and she said she'd made arrangements and to hang out in the terminal after clearing Customs.

* * *

George Bush International Airport  
Houston, Tx

Mike had to drive Missy to Houston to pick up Sheldon. She wouldn't say why she was so upset except that it wasn't anything to do with him. She just said that she needed a new Maid of Honor.

Sheldon had no idea what had happened just that he had to wait three hours before Melissa and Mike picked him up. Mike said, "Don't ask. She's upset about the Maid of Honor. I had to drive. She couldn't stop crying."

* * *

Queen Farms  
Omaha, Nebraska

Penny couldn't stop crying. Her sister had been killed while driving home from an AA meeting. The other driver had been drunk. She had taken the call from the State Police and had to tell her parents that their daughter was dead.

She cried for Darcy and her children, her parents and herself. She hadn't been able to meet Sheldon in Houston and she had been so upset that she hadn't thought to call. Her sister was dead. Her family needed her.

Penny believed in horoscopes, astrology and most of all, Fate. Fate had brutally shown her that her path lay in another direction. Someone had to raise Darcy's twins. Her ex-husband was nowhere to be found and there was no way she was going to let those beautiful children grow up in foster care.

Darcy had left a will, a small amount of life insurance and little else. The bank took the trailer back and Penny moved the kids in with her folks. The drunk had been a college kid and his family had offered a 'sizeable cash settlement' in order to make it 'all go away'.

Penny talked with Darcy's lawyer, an old family friend.

"Ms. Queen, your sister specified that you should be guardian for Luke and Lyla. I've already put paperwork in place to have the court approve it. Take the money, set up a trust and use it to take care of her children."

* * *

Life at Queen Farms became very different with the arrival of two 15-year old twins. Luke was quiet, shy but scary smart, always with his nose in a book while Lyla…Lyla was his polar opposite: hated school, doing just enough to get passing grades but was the most popular girl in 9th grade. She was Darcy and Penny all over again.

Penny was drinking coffee a few nights later, making a shopping list for the twins. Their clothing was adequate but Penny knew how important clothes were to a teenager and planned an expedition into Omaha to outfit them right.

"Can't sleep, Penny?" Her mom sat down across from her and pulled the legal pad over to her, looked it over and then smiled. "Mind if I come along? This looks like a lot to handle for just one adult."

"Would you mind? I've never taken kids shopping before and…"

"I'd love it. Let's change the subject for a minute though. Galveston, Sheldon Cooper. You never called him to explain why you didn't show up in Houston, did you?" She saw her daughter look down at the table and whisper, "No, and I'm not going to."

"Oh, Penny, why not? It's obvious how you feel about him and if his friends' comments are any indication, he feels the same way. Don't let – "

"Mom, things are different now. It wouldn't work out. I've got the twins now. I got no time for a relationship, especially not with someone as complex as Sheldon."

"Penny – "

"Drop it, Mom. The subject is closed."

* * *

Galveston

"She didn't show. She didn't call or send an email or nothin'. She just left him hangin' there until he called me and wanted to know where his ride was. I'm jus' glad Shelly wasn't expectin' her. He's better off being iggerant, Leslie."

Leslie was in her hotel room in St. Petersburg. The day had been long and she was tired but had waited until now to call Missy Cooper. She'd almost thrown up a couple of times from nerves. So many lives were going to be effected by one woman's decision.

"I – I was very blunt with her, Missy. I told her if she loved him to be there but if she didn't show, she better not show her face at your wedding. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. She's your friend and if you wanted her to be your Maid of Honor I shouldn't have given her that ultimatum."

"I'm goin' to ask Mike's sister. I need to spend more time with her anyway if we gonna be family and all. I just never thought Penny Queen could be so mean and heartless. She didn't call, email or nothin'."

Leslie could see where this conversation was heading and didn't want to listen to her ranting. "Missy, it's 3am here and I have a breakfast meeting. Good night. Tell Sheldon I'll see him in Toronto in two weeks."

* * *

Sheldon was glad to be home. His mother was doing well and Melissa seemed to have recovered from her melt down over Penny not being able to get off work for the wedding.

He was spending his days and nights at his Meemaw's house but made it a point to always eat dinner with his mom and drive her to church events even though she could drive herself now. It was a tangible bit of normalcy that he needed.

His memories of his childhood were slowly rising up from his subconscious and yeah, he remembered Mike Rogan and his Super Wedgies from 5th grade. Mike knew he remembered, too, but wisely said nothing after Sheldon had given him a wedgie one night at the bar.

He finally gave in to his loneliness and called Penny at Queen Farms one evening after coming back from his mom's.

"Queen Farms, Lyla speaking." Her grandmother was anal about proper telephone etiquette on the farm line. _"It's our business, Lyla, and calls on that line are important."_

"Hi, this is Dr. Cooper. May I speak with Penny Queen, please?"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cooper, but she's out with Luke and I don't know when they'll be back. I can take a message though." Lyla didn't know her aunt's history with Sheldon Cooper otherwise she'd never have let him get by with just "No, that's fine. I'll call some other time. Thanks. Have a nice evening, Miss."

She smiled at his 'Miss'. _I suppose a 15-year old can be called 'Miss' by some old fart doctor._

He hadn't left his number and it wasn't farm business so she didn't fill out a message form. He said he'd call back.

Sheldon put his phone on the charger. Her 'plus-one' had a name – Luke.

He focused his attention on the upcoming Foundation meeting in Toronto. It would be a trial run of sorts. Getting together some of the finest minds in science, industry, business and the social sciences quietly had been daunting. He was presenting the Mission Statement for the Foundation and everything depended on their cooperation and participation – and their money.

His headache was back and he took two of the little white pills and sat down and sipped his tea and waited for them to kick in. Unbidden and unexpected, he saw a flash of a woman's buttock tattooed with the Chinese character for soup and then passed out.


	10. Fumbling Towards Ecstacy

A/N: Sheldon's memories appear in bits and pieces and affects how V2.0 perceives things and acts. Note the title and don't be so damned negative.

**I don't normally care what people think of what I write so long as they think. I'm giving you what I've written to date so that most of you will hang in there during my involuntary hiatus.**

* * *

Chapter 10  
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy

Galveston

Sheldon called his neurologist for an appointment. His doctor in Pasadena had referred him to her and she seemed quite competent if a little cold.

"Dr. Cooper, I see no reason to be alarmed. You admitted to being tired and overworked and your indicators are all normal. In my opinion, these 'flashes' are simply your subconscious answering questions you don't realize you're asking. The intensity of this most recent one, though, should it reoccur, might require hospitalization and testing just to be on the safe side."

"Thank you but I don't have time for a hospital stay. I'll try and rest more but these are busy times for me. My Foundation is getting off the ground and my sister's getting married. After the holidays I promise to cut back and 'kick back'."

"You have my number, Sheldon. Call me anytime, if only to discuss your symptoms. It's no bother. It's not often I treat a Nobel Laureate." She finally smiled and it made her look 20 and Sheldon wondered why she didn't smile more often.

* * *

Lester B. Pearson International Airport  
Toronto, Canada

They hadn't spoken much over the past two weeks and she was anxious to see him again. From what Missy had said (she spoke with her quite often), he had a relaxing break but had been impatient to get to Toronto.

His plane was late. She stood just outside Customs and thought again about her choice of clothing. She wore jeans, a v-neck cashmere sweater and leather boots with heels. She bought the boots in St. Petersburg after debating the wisdom of 3" heels but she loved them and just had to have them. She also wore her fur jacket and matching hat that had been so commonplace in St. Petersburg.

She spent the afternoon getting a mani-pedi and having her hair done. She normally just let it 'happen' but she wanted to look professional for the morrow's meetings. They were important to Sheldon so they were important to her.

Finally. "Hi, Sheldon!" She waved and walked over to him.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" He hardly recognized her in tight jeans, boots and a jacket that made her look very stylish. She looked really good. And the hint of cleavage the v-neck teased him with was a nice touch.

She walked slowly towards him and her tongue darted out to wet her lips. She was wearing makeup and wondered if she really looked all that different. She was nervous as hell.

She smiled, hesitantly, while he smiled broadly and pulled her into a hug he'd have run screaming from 9 months prior. She'd done something with her hair and she looked nice, really nice.

The kiss started out just like the first one, slow, gentle and soft but changed into a more intense one that seemed to go on and on.

When the kiss ended, Sheldon leaned down and whispered, "There was no one in Texas, Les. Maybe you were right. Maybe I'll find her in Toronto." There was a teasing tone to his voice and she rose up on her tiptoes and pecked a quick kiss on his lips and smiled broadly.

"I think there's a distinct probability you just might, Dr. Cooper." She looped her arm through his and led him out to the cabstand. "I got adjoining rooms. It's all they had, Sheldon, so don't bitch up a storm about it. Your virtue is safe."

His grin split his face and he leaned over and whispered, "But is yours safe from me, Dr. Winkle?"

"God, I hope not!" she blurted out. She hadn't intended to say what she thought but it was too late and she blushed deeply but just pressed his arm tighter against her. _Sheldon and I would never work. We're too much alike. _Her words to Penny Queen roared up but she dismissed them.

* * *

Queen Farms  
Omaha, Nebraska

Penny sat at the kitchen table going over all the forms and questionnaires she had to fill out. It was Luke's grade's Parents Night. He had been tested in elementary school and been advanced two grade levels. Now he was in the 11th grade. Lyla's test scores were almost as good but she hadn't been considered 'mature enough' to handle the strain of advanced placement.

Luke's teachers all praised him to the hilltops and all said he wasn't being academically challenged. It sounded like someone else she knew.

She sighed. _Tomorrow night I'll get to hear all about Penny Queen again. Some things never change. Tomorrow is Lyla's 9__th__ grade Parents Night. Maybe Mom would like to come with me and take a trip down memory lane?_

One of the forms was an application for Mensa and she had to Google it to understand just what Mensa was. She knew that all her boys, except for Raj, were members and it was an honor to be asked to join although most people just applied and took the test.

Sheldon had been sponsored when he was just 11 and Leonard had been 17. She had no idea about Howard and didn't think it was that important.

She also filled out an application for a summer program in Texas called the Challenge Foundation. It was free and if it provided Luke with an intellectual challenge, she was all for it.

* * *

Trump Tower Hotel Center  
Toronto, Canada

It was the end of their first week in Toronto and Leslie was excited at how many brilliant people she'd met and at the occasional dinner invitation she'd received. She and Sheldon hadn't made love yet but had done almost everything else just not – that – one – thing.

He was slow and methodical, testing, evaluating and compiling an instruction manual of sorts on Leslie Winkle, Do's and Don'ts, and it drove her over the edge time and time again.

_My God! Sheldon Cooper touted his virginity to anyone who'd listen before his accident. This Sheldon, V2.0, is a virgin. Could that be the reason for his reluctance?_

They'd slept together in her bed the last two nights and woke up in each other's arms. They had been late for their breakfast sessions both mornings and neither let it bother them.

It did, however bother one man, an invited guest who Sheldon hoped to recruit as a visiting lecturer.

* * *

Joachim Steiner was persistent. He wanted Leslie Winkle and by the gods he would have her. He couldn't believe it when he'd run into his old adversary, Sheldon Cooper, in St Petersburg. He'd changed, although Steiner recognized him easily. The boy had become a man to be reckoned with and had won the damned Prize before he was 35, just as he'd boasted in Heidelberg.

He didn't seem at all angry with Steiner after all these years apart and that intrigued him to no end. He seemed to have outgrown the humiliation of being beaten on the bottom with the flat of a saber and left, naked, in the commons. Steiner had left for holiday and when he returned from the summer at home, Cooper had been awarded his second PhD and moved on.

He had something Steiner wanted and he would not come in second again. He had been struck by lightning when he laid eyes on Winkle and when he saw her in St Petersburg with Cooper, he vowed to steal her away from him and make her his own.

She had gently declined his two dinner invitations but had agreed to have lunch with him. He was Sheldon's oldest acquaintance and she was curious about how he'd been in Germany so long ago.

She told Sheldon she was having lunch with Joachim Steiner and he blinked once, stared hard at her and blinked a few more times.

"Fine. I have some free time and I thought I'd just walk around Toronto for a while and take in the city sights."

His tone of voice was carefully neutral and other than the weird blinking, she hadn't noticed any signs of concern or…jealousy.

"Shel, I'll tell Joachim that something's come up and I'll go with you. We had such a nice day in St. Petersburg. Let's see – "

"No, you agreed to have lunch and I don't think you should lie to him about something so trivial. Have a nice time, Les." He leaned over and kissed her softly on the cheek and left, heading for the lobby exit.

* * *

Two hours later

Sheldon heard the door slam in Leslie's room and waited for the connecting door to open but all he heard was silence. He'd picked up several brochures on his walk through the downtown area of places that might interest her and tossed them aside now and called his sister.

He toyed with one of a pair of items he'd purchased on impulse in a hole-in-the-wall shop while the phone rang. He wanted a status report on his mom and to let Melissa vent about any glitches in the wedding plans. He knew his mother and figured Melissa was being slowly driven crazy.

"Can't talk, Shelly-bean. Got someone on hold. I'll call you back," and hung up.

Leslie Winkle was the 'someone on hold' and was the reason Missy blew off talking with her brother. Winkle was upset about something and wanted to know what she knew about her brother's time in Heidelberg and whether she knew anything about Joachim Steiner.

"He don't talk about Germany much. He left to lecture there and came back two years later with another PhD and a bad attitude for anything German. Whatever happened there was something he never would talk about. He holed up at Meemaw's for the summer and when he turned 18, him and Georgie Jr took off for parts unknown."

"What about Joachim Steiner? Did he ever mention him to you?"

"Nope. Listen, I gots to call Shelly back. He don't call lessen there's a reason. Be good to him, Les. He's real special."

"Yes, he is, Missy. Say hi to your mom for me."

_Yes, he's special. All Joachim wanted to talk about was Sheldon and how much he's changed. He got such a kick out of recounting how they'd harassed Sheldon, making him the butt of many of their jokes. _

_Why he'd ever think I'd enjoy hearing about how they initiated Sheldon into a 'dueling fraternity' (Der Bruderschaft) and when he fought back, stripped him naked and chased him across the campus 'spanking him' with the flat of their sabers (only the last two inches are sharpened, Leslie, the rest is dull and would not cut butter)._

_I can't believe the asshole thinks he's Sheldon's Kamerad zum Dienst, a brother in arms. What a colossal asshole he is!_

* * *

Leslie opened the connecting door between their rooms and took the phone from his hand and said, "He'll talk to you later, Missy" and sat down on his lap and kissed him.

"Well, hello to you, Dr. Winkle. I take it you had a pleasant lunch?"

"The food was good. The company was not. Sheldon, Steiner says you're his _Kamerad zum Dienst. _How can you even stand to be in his presence knowing what he did to you?"

He blinked at her and his breath seemed to whoosh out of him all of a sudden. He was pale and she felt a tremor pass through his slight frame.

"Well, that explains the 'impulse buy' I made. That was a long time ago, Leslie, and I don't want to remember it but now it seems I have to. Damned inconvenient of my subconscious to restore that missing piece of the Sheldon Cooper jigsaw puzzle right now."

"You can tell me anything, Shel. You know that. I won't judge you."

"There's nothin' to tell, Darlin'," he whispered in her ear and then traced it with his tongue. "Nothin' at all."

Leslie closed her eyes and enjoyed his full attention to her. When he picked her up bridal-style and headed to her room she saw the open case with two dueling sabers and metal masks. _Jesus, Cooper…what's going on in that mind of yours?_


	11. Some Scars Can't Be Seen

A/N: Now! At last! We'll find out what happened in Germany and in future chapters what happened to Sheldon during the years between Germany and CalTech. Steiner wants Leslie because Sheldon has her and Leslie wants Sheldon but doesn't have him and Sheldon realizes that passion isn't love but sometimes you get what you need, not what you want.

* * *

Chapter 11

Some Scars Can't Be Seen  
Continues immediately after Chapter 10

* * *

Leslie was asleep at last, tired and sated. Sheldon covered her naked form with a sheet and blanket and then returned to his own room for a much-needed shower.

_It's only sex, intercourse, making love, coitus. Why am I holding back? I could love Leslie. I want to love her. She says she loves me and I believe her. I know she's frustrated that we haven't…_

Between them, they'd resolved any unresolved sexual tensions in creative and intimate ways but he'd stopped short of actually…

He took one of the sabers from its case and went through a series of exercises that he hadn't done in years. At first the saber felt clumsy in his hand but now it seemed to be an extension of his will.

Sheldon staggered a bit during a complex series of parries and slashes as memories ripped through him.

He clutched his forearm, trying to quench the flow of blow where Steiner's saber had slashed open his forearm from mid-forearm to elbow.

He grunted in pain then his blade came up and whirled and slashed and laid open Steiner's face from the edge of his mouth to edge of the steel protective mask.

"_Enough! Blood has been drawn. The duel is over and honor has been satisfied. Herr Docktor Cooper, welcome to Der __Bruderschaft. Someone fetch the doctor. Very impressive for one so young, Herr Doktor Cooper, to have bested three opponents, and one of them - Steiner. Very impressive indeed._

But it hadn't been enough. Oh no. He ran the gauntlet and ended up naked, in the snow, his buttocks and thighs throbbing from being hit with the flat of sabers.

Steiner and his cronies had their revenge and had humiliated him despite his victories. He never wore short sleeves again. The sight of the scar triggered eidetic memories of his humiliation every time he saw it.

_Sometimes just winning isn't enough. Sometimes you have to slay your enemies to finally have peace._

* * *

He dialed the front desk and was connected to a room in the hotel.

"Steiner, Cooper. It is time to end this as it started. The hotel gym in 15 minutes. I have the necessary equipment."

Leslie stood in the open connecting door and watched as Sheldon began a series of exercises with a sword he bought. _Jesus, Cooper, is this what Tai Chi is really all about?_

She started to interrupt him when he staggered and clutched his forearm, his face wreathed in pain from something in his mind. Suddenly years fell from his face and he looked young again – and terrified. Leslie was going to get his attention when he suddenly began slashing and stopped dead after flicking the tip of the saber at something only he could see.

He was breathing heavily as he placed a call to the front desk. She started to go back to her room to dress when she heard _"Steiner, Cooper. It is time to end this as it started. The hotel gym in 15 minutes."_

Gone was the sexy woman from the airport and in her place was a Leslie Winkle no one would possibly recognize – a woman standing by her man. "I'm going with you, if only to make sure whatever is going on doesn't end badly."

* * *

Trump Towers Gymnasium

"I've lived with the humiliation and shame for half my life, Leslie, and it ends today. My pride got me only so far but my capabilities took me the rest of the way into the _Der __Bruderschaft _but Steiner and his buddies couldn't allow a foreigner to disgrace their precious society and I was 'punished', humiliated and turned out."

Joachim Steiner threw his clothing into a bag and took the elevator to the lobby and checked out. He'd make reservations and fly out to Germany as soon as possible. He knew what Cooper had meant on the phone and he had no stomach for it. In the final analysis, he was the coward.

* * *

Galveston

"He did _what,_ Leslie?" Missy was holding the phone away from her ear and sitting next to her mom so she could hear, too.

"He challenged some German to a sword fight, a fucking duel, because years ago he'd humiliated your brother after Sheldon had sliced up him and two of his buds in some dueling society initiation."

"So what happened? Is Shelly all right?" Missy was translating Mary's whispered questions into words for Leslie to respond to.

"The dude never showed. He checked out of the hotel and hasn't been seen since. Your brother was so pissed. You should have seen him slashing that saber around – he looked like Orlando Bloom in _Pirates of the Caribbean_."

"Oooo, someone's got it bad for my bro."

"Yeah, I admit it. I'm head over heels gone. He's…hesitant and I know he still has feelings for _her_ but I'm patient. I'll wear him down eventually."

She'd bring things to a head in Stockholm next week after they received their prizes. Yes, that was her plan.

* * *

December 12  
Stockholm, Sweden

Leslie Winkle was furious with Sheldon Cooper. She was way beyond pissed off. She was going to kill him and throw his body down the elevator shaft.

They had their first real fight and it had been a real knock-down-drag-out with things said by both parties that were deliberately hurtful. He'd stormed out of her room and she hadn't seen him since. He hadn't returned and his phone must be off since all her calls went directly to voicemail. _Stubborn ass!_

The dinner ceremony began in less than two hours and he was nowhere to be found. She called the front desk and asked to have him paged.

"But Doctor Winkle, Dr. Cooper has checked out and returned to the United States."

* * *

Mecklinville, Texas

Sheldon Cooper threw money at the cabdriver and sprinted into the lobby of the small community hospital.

_I shall have them transferred to a critical care facility as soon as they are able. This place is little better than a Walgreen's._

"Melissa Cooper and Michael Rogan, where are they?" He didn't have time for niceties or social graces. He wasn't Penny Queen who could tease information out of the most recalcitrant person. When he was asked if he was "family", he leaned over and looked at the old woman behind the desk and growled "I'm her brother and his best man, now where are they?"

"Sheldon," a soft voice behind his said his name and he turned and came face to face with Chelsea Rogan, Mike's sister. Her eyes were almost swollen shut from crying and she wrapped herself around him and started crying again, blubbering out some tale of woe that he couldn't begin to understand.

"Mr. Cooper, room 107. Your sister's in room 107 just down that hallway on the left. I'm so sorry for your loss."

* * *

Stockholm, Sweden

Getting information from the desk clerk was almost as difficult as proving String Theory but finally a senior manager recognized her name and told her that 'Dr. Cooper came in at 3am and was given several urgent telephone messages from a Chelsea Rogan, and he checked out 15 minutes later and left for the airport.'

Rogan. She knew that name from – Missy's boyfriend was named Rogan!

"Dr. Winkle, Dr. Cooper left a letter for you. I'll have someone bring it up to you immediately." Leslie glanced at her watch and said, "I'll pick it up on my way out. The 'entourage' from the Palace will be waiting for us – me – in the lobby. Thank you."

* * *

Leslie read the letter in the limousine that whisked her to the Palace for the Prize Presentation Ceremony. She accepted Sheldon's on his behalf explaining that he had to return unexpectedly to the US because of a death in the family.

She moved throughout the evening on autopilot, smiling woodenly and giving only the briefest of answers to questions and repeating 'No comment' when asked about Dr. Cooper's whereabouts.

She checked out immediately upon getting reservations on the earliest flight out to Houston. The hotel staff fell all over themselves taking care of Sheldon's luggage but were stumped on what to do about the case of dueling sabers. "Send it by DHL to his home of record in Galveston, Texas. The rest will go with me on the plane."

* * *

Mecklinville, Texas

Chelsea hung on Sheldon as he walked down the corridor to room 107. _78 steps. He counted them to settle his mind._ His mother and a man he hoped was a doctor walked out and Mary smiled thinly and held out her arms to her son.

Sheldon hesitated for only a second, and then pulled Chelsea along with him into his mother's embrace.

"She's in guarded condition, Shelly, but poor Mike slipped away from us and is in Heaven with his parents now. She doesn't know, poor child, and I don't have the heart to tell her that her – "

Now Sheldon had two crying woman clutching him like limpets and he felt a burst of panic and the urge to escape and shower in Purell but squelched it ruthlessly.

_I am Sheldon Cooper. I am not a whack-job who can't share emotional pain and give comfort. I am better and stronger than he ever was. I can do this. I __**will **__do this._

"What happened, Mom."

Chelsea pulled herself away from Sheldon and wiped her eyes a blew her nose into a kleenex. "They were making the night deposit and someone robbed them and shot them down like dogs. The police have the surveillance tapes from the ATM and say they'll catch 'em. I want them dead, Sheldon, God help me, I want them dead."

Sheldon handed his mother over to Chelsea and suggested they find decent coffee and he went in search of Melissa's doctor.

"Your sister should make a full recovery. We had to remove her spleen and give her a few pints of blood but she's on the road to a full recovery. Her fiancé was not so fortunate. His injuries were mortal and he was pronounced dead in the Emergency Room. I'm sorry for your loss, Dr. Cooper. She doesn't know about Mike's death and I don't think her mother's strong enough to tell her."

"I'll do it. I was going to be Mike's best man. I'll do it."

He shook hands with the doctor and went directly to Melissa's room. She was groggy but reasonably alert and smiled when she saw him walk in.

"Shelly! I'm so sorry you got dragged back here from your big day. I'm so – "

He lay down beside her on the bed, careful of all the medical leads and tubes and drains and put his arm around her and gently rocked her.

"Melissa, listen to me. Mike has passed on. He's in a far better place than this. I know it's very hard to accept but you know I would never lie to you. He felt no pain, darlin', and for that we can all be thankful. His last words were of his love for you."

Sheldon Cooper could lie with the best of them.

* * *

Galveston

Sheldon was exhausted from traveling and sitting with Melissa and then helping Chelsea plan Mike's funeral. He'd been on the go for 36 hours straight and finally got to his Meemaw's place and crawled into bed.

He awoke to find a warm body spooned against his back. Sometime during the night Leslie had arrived in Houston, checked on Mary and Missy and then driven out to his Meemaw's place and slipped into bed with him.

He started to get up but her surprisingly strong arms held him tighter to her. "Don't. Not yet. Just give me a few more minutes and then we'll talk. Don't send me away, Shel. You need me now more than ever before."

He relaxed but she still held him tightly to her. "I'm sorry for what I said that night about Penny Queen. It was mean and cruel and you didn't deserve it."

"But you were right, Leslie. The world isn't fair and we can't always have who we want. I've found, however, that we do get who we need."

* * *

Queen Farms  
Omaha, Nebraska

Luke Walker called his Aunt Penny to come see who was on TV. "I can't believe you know this guy, Aunt Penny. The news lady said he didn't get his prize in person because someone died. His girlfriend accepted it for him. She won the prize, too. Did you know her?"

"Yeah, she called me Barbie and I called her skank. We didn't get along. She was always calling Sheldon a 'dumbass'."

The TV showed a file photo of Winkle and Sheldon Cooper leaving some gala in St. Petersburg, Russia. She had to admit the skank cleaned up well and Sheldon looked so damned good in his tuxedo. They looked like the perfect couple. They were even holding hands and smiling for the camera. Unbidden, Leslie's comment from an earlier telephone call resounded in her ears.

_Trust me, Sheldon and I would never work. We're too much alike. You and him…you're each a missing part of the other. _

"You cryin', Aunt Penny?"

"Nope. Just something in the air irritating my eyes. Have you finished your homework yet, sport?" She wanted to move the focus from her to him. She blinked rapidly and then walked upstairs to her room.

_That should be me on his arm, holding his hand. I should have called him, swallowed my pride and opened up my heart to him. Shoulda, coulda, whoulda, the story of my life._

She wiped the tears from her eyes and used Visine and then went down to the kitchen. She needed to iron the kids' clothes for the next day's school. She was always running late in the mornings and would never have time so she established a routine of nightly ironing. _My God! I'm turning into Sheldon Cooper!_


	12. The Corrosiveness of Silence

A/N: Penny's efforts to reach out the Sheldon are thwarted and Sheldon and Leslie reach an impasse in their relationship. Missy messes up. Now we meet the barely seen George Jr. NOTE: To properly pronounce 'Huntsville' ya gotta say 'Hunts-vool' – emphasis on HUNTS - it's a Texas thing.

* * *

The Corrosiveness of Silence12

Queen Farms  
Omaha, Nebraska

Penny loved the Christmas season and went all out for the kids. She began her shopping online shortly after Thanksgiving and only had to make one foray into Omaha to hit the big mall. She took Lyla along and they had a fun time and discovered that they liked some of the same music although Lyla called them 'Oldies'.

She was sitting at the kitchen table going through her Christmas card list, drawing lines through names she no longer wanted to send cards to: her Agent, Leonard (although his mother would get a card), the crew at the Cheesecake Factory, Leslie Winkle and Sheldon. She thought long and hard about it but finally drew a bold line through his name. She added a couple names and then began making out the cards.

Lyla sat down beside her and looked over the list. The bold stroke through the name Dr. Sheldon Cooper caught her eye.

"Hey, I think this guy called you on the farm line one night. He asked for Penny Queen and I told him you were out with Luke. He seemed in a hurry to get off the phone after that but said he'd call back. Did he?"

"Why didn't you take a message, Lyla? He called and you didn't take a message?" Penny's eyes were flashing. _He called! Sheldon called and I was out with Luke at school and she didn't bother taking a message? He called!_

"Grandma said only farm business should get recorded in the message book. Jeez, Aunt Penn, he said he'd call back."

_I was out with Luke. Missy would have told Sheldon I was bringing a 'plus one' if I know her. He thought I was with someone. He wouldn't call back, not if he thought I was bringing someone to the wedding, me, the Big Ol' Five. _

"It's okay. It probably wasn't him. You're right; no personal messages should be recorded in the farm book. No problemo, Kid."

She snatched the list from Lyla and wrote _Sheldon Cooper_ in large letters. _Now I have to find the perfect card._

* * *

Leslie returned to Pasadena and CalTech alone but not for lack of trying.

"Shel, baby, your Foundation can operate out of California as easily as Texas. Come back with me, take the Co-Chair and we'll be the Power Couple of Physics."

Sheldon countered with the one argument Leslie knew she couldn't best and didn't want to: his family.

"Leslie, my sister is a physical and mental wreck and my mom's still not 100% and Georgie Jr is getting' out on parole from Huntsville. I gave my word to the Parole Board that I'd 'supervise' him closely. My family needs me and Georgie Jr deserves a second chance at becoming a solid citizen. Please, don't ask me to turn my back on my family."

There was very little middle ground between them. Sheldon knew Leslie was ambitious and wanted to show the world that a woman could make it in a man's field. The Chair position would assure that and he wanted her to realize her ambitions.

She loved him like she had no other man but she did the one thing her heart begged her not to: she gave in to her ambition and took the Chair and tenure at CalTech and kissed Sheldon goodbye as if it were for the last time. She cried the entire flight back to Los Angeles.

Leslie's decision was logical and the best one for her career. Sheldon supported her decision and they both promised to try and keep their relationship alive but deep down inside, Sheldon knew they were over.

* * *

When he got back from taking Leslie to the airport his mother was waiting for him and she took him aside for a mother-son chat.

"You should have gone with her, Shelly. I'm not yet in the grave and Missy'll bounce back given enough time. She and Chelsea have decided to keep the bar open and it will fill her hours while she heals." She blotted tears from the corners of her eyes but drove on when he tried to interrupt.

"I prayed so hard, Sheldon, that my kids would be happy and yet look what's happened to the three of yas all…'tain't fair and I see no good comin' your way iffen you stay here. You'll just slip back down inta that rabbit hole you dug fer yerself just like last time."

"But Mom, I –"

"God gave ya a gifted mind for science-y stuff but I think someone up there forgot to give ya any damned sense a-tall 'bout women. That Leslie is a fine woman and you, Sheldon Cooper, are as dumb as a box of rocks. She loves you and love like that don't grow on trees. Go home, Shelly-bean, go home to Pasadena."

* * *

They have agreed to a low-key Christmas with just church and then a family dinner. Chelsea Rogan lived in the next town over but spent a lot of time at Mary Cooper's, helping out with Missy at first but then just because she had no one left in her life.

She taught 4th grade over in Mecklinville and spent the holidays at Mary's. She and Sheldon talked a lot about life and soon became friends. Sheldon wasn't looking for a relationship anytime soon, if ever, and Chelsea wasn't much interested in men so it was a friendship born of mutual need.

* * *

Omaha  
Queen Farms

Penny found just the right Christmas card for Sheldon and included a long letter about her life in Omaha. She felt better after getting it all down on paper and after rereading it, impulsively included the kids' school pictures and mailed it.

Lyla asked Penny the $64,000 question. "So you and this Dr. Cooper guy, you two had a thing goin' on in Pasadena?"

"Yes. No. Maybe. I don't know. He was my best friend, my whack-a-doodle, but I was dating his roommate and we never got past it. When he got hurt in a lab explosion, he lost his memory and we spent a lot of time together in the hospital but suddenly it all changed just like he did and soon he cut me out of his life. I miss him and yeah, I suppose I've always been in love with him, especially after his accident. I still want to be his friend. That's why I sent the letter with the card." _I love him. It's so easy to say now. I was just too embarrassed by some of his quirks to admit it before._

* * *

Galveston

Missy Cooper watched as a Christmas card addressed to her brother burned, unopened, in the fireplace. Penny Queen had a lot of nerve sending him a Christmas card after turning her back on him. She tossed hers and her mother's, unopened, onto the sideboard.

Christmas Day was a horrible time for all. Chelsea and Missy cried at odd times, his mother prayed and Sheldon pretended to be interested in a television movie about some kid in the '50s who was destined to shoot his eye out with a BB gun. Her prayer circle dropped by and set up an entire Christmas dinner for the family and then discretely left, sensing the tension.

* * *

He called Leslie when he finally made it home to his Meemaw's and she got on to him for his Christmas gift to her, a beautiful wooden placard accented in gold for her office door at the University.

_Dr. Leslie Winkle, PhD, Nobel Laureate _  
_Knock politely, tread lightly_  
_Be respectful but expectant, for_  
_Wisdom and beauty await those who enter_

"Sheldon, we agreed – "

"Hush, darlin', I had the thought and had it made in Toronto before we made that stupid agreement. I miss you, Les. This place is empty without you."

He could tell she was starting to cry and he hated it when she cried. "No tears, Les. You know I hate it when you cry. I thought it would make you happy."

"Oh, you dumbass, of course it did – I miss you, too, Shel. Please – "

"Don't ask that of me, darlin'. You know my answer already."

They talked for an hour or so and then hung up. They were so screwed. He didn't know if what he felt was love but he missed her and her wry sense of humor, the way she fit when she curled up against him, asleep.

* * *

Mary watched her son like a hawk. She knew his devotion to his family was a new thing to him. Mary was afraid he would end up alone and bitter with nothing to show for having been on the earth except some footnote in a history book and a granite slab marking his final resting place. She prayed for divine guidance.

* * *

Pasadena

Bernadette Wolowitz sifted through the unopened Christmas cards that had accrued while she and Howard had been in Wisconsin visiting her folks. The tension between her and her family evaporated when she casually mentioned that she and Howie were trying to have a baby.

Grandbabies, even the talk of them, were like healing unguents.

She opened the card from Penny Queen and read the enclosed note. Bernadette was one of the co-conspirators of the 'Get Penny & Sheldon Together' cabal and wasn't too thrilled with Ms. Queen after she didn't show at the airport. Now she felt like dogshit when she read about Penny's sister and her kids.

She called her co-conspirator to update her on the Cabal.

"Missy, hi! Merry Christmas." They talked about her recovery, how her mother was doing, and finally about Sheldon. "Listen, I got a card and a note from Penny Queen…"

Missy Cooper could hardly breathe, it hurt so bad. Talking to Bernadette was normally a delightful break but when she brought up Penny and told her why she hadn't shown in Houston it was all just too much. She crawled into bed and cried for Mike and Sheldon and Penny. Fate had fucked them all and she'd thrown Penny's card in the fire!

* * *

Huntsville Prison

_Cooper 13795 report to substation #14. The Warden wants to see you._

Junior got up from the table in the prison library where he was reading an article on his brother when he heard the announcement over the intercom. _I've been a model prisoner. There's no way they can keep me from talking to the Parole Board next year!_

Two correctional officers escorted him to the Warden's office, took off his shackles and manacles and escorted him in to see the warden. They stood on either side of him, just in case.

"Mr. Cooper, these officers will escort you through out-processing. You're going home, George. Don't come back, either. You got a chance at getting right. Your family needs you and your brother's waiting to take you home. The Board was called into a special session. I guess it helps that your brother won the Nobel Prize. Was he adopted?"

* * *

Outside Huntsville Prison

Sheldon waited impatiently beside his mother's truck he'd borrowed for the drive down to Huntsville. Inside, sitting on the front seat, was a bucket of KFC 'extra crispy', a 6-pack of Dr. Pepper and a bag with some of Georgie's more 'comfortable clothing' meaning jeans, work shirt, denim jacket and his boots.

He hadn't seen his brother in 6 years and wondered if he'd changed much. Sheldon's experience with prison was limited to movies and TV so he really didn't know what to expect.

"Hey, Sheldon, thanks for springing me a few years early. How'd ya manage it? Don't answer. Damn, little bro, you grew up when I was inside."

George was shocked when his brother pulled him into a one-armed 'bro hug' and then told him what was in the truck. "I'll hang here while you change and then we'll hit the road. No one knows you're comin', Georgie, but I petitioned the Board for a Hearing and got you out. My ass is on the line, big brother, so don't fuck up, okay?"

"Whoa! An F-bomb from Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes! Momma'd wash your mouth out with lye soap she heard you use such language." He got quiet for a minute and then said, "I'm damned glad to see ya and damned glad you finally come to yer senses and come home. You really did it, Shelly, and I'm so damned proud of ya. The freakin' No-Bell Prize! Meemaw would be busting with pride."

The old Sheldon had written his brother at least once a month, sometimes more frequently, without fail, and kept him up to date of the goings on in Pasadena, the latest superheroes to make their appearance in print and film and, of course, the various romantic efforts of The Three Amigos. He'd written about Penny, too, probably too much.

"So, Shelly, you take care of them three back-stabbin' bastards? Your last letter – well, Momma told me about the laser accident. You really don't remember much about me, us, do ya? Maybe that's not so bad though. We weren't exactly asshole buddies."

"You're my brother, George, and that knowledge is enough."


	13. Down the Rabbit Hole

A/N: Nearing the end. One perhaps two chapters. Depends on tying up loose ends.

* * *

Chapter 13  
Continuation of Chapter 12

Down the Rabbit Hole

Galveston

"Shelly, you missed the turn. Damn, boy, have you forgotten how to get to Mom's house?" George Jr (Hereinafter George or Georgie) had OD'd on KFC and Dr Pepper and had slept most of the way back to Galveston from Huntsville.

"Nope, goin' to Meemaw's. I've been stayin' there. Those three women almost drive me to drink with their meddlin' ways, Georgie. Oh, you haven't met Chelsea, Mike's sister. She's a nice girl, a little stand-offish – "

"Comin' from you that must mean she stands in Houston to talk to someone in Galveston!" He knew Sheldon hated being interrupted so he just made a 'go on' gesture with his hands.

The more Sheldon talked, the more Texas seeped into his speech patterns and vocabulary. The twang was back and most likely a permanent thing.

"Mom said she and Missy are going to keep runnin' the bar over in Mecklinville so we probably won't see much of those two. Mom's doing better now. Her heart's stronger than before accordin' to the docs. She still spends a lot of time at her church but she's mellowed a bit on the Jesus front. Don't faint, Georgie, but I take her to services and stay. Still don't swaller all that hokum but it makes her happy so I sit there but not much for the jumpin' up and down."

The dry way he said it had Georgie in stitches but he sobered up and said, "You told me all about the Three Amigos and about Penny Blossom going home to Omaha but nothing at all about anyone in your life. Come clean, boy. You got a little something goin' on? Yer famous, boy, and would be quite the catch."

"There was someone but she took a tenured position at CalTech and I resigned to work on some projects and live here now. She says she loves me but – I just can't take that step, Georgie. I've tried to love her like she deserves but there's – hell, George, we're too damned much alike and she just doesn't complete me the way – "

He stopped talking. To actually say it would mean it was real and he didn't need that kind of pain in his life. _She has someone, Luke. I waited too long._

"It's that Penny girl, isn't it, Shelly? She's the one who 'fills your soul'. Oh, don't look at me like that. I read a lot now. I even got my GED and a year of college credit although my grades are just passable. Shelly, since Mom doesn't know I'm coming home, and iffen we both drove straight through, we could be there by morning."

"Be where?" Sheldon was still absorbing the facts that Georgie actually could read and that he had some college credits.

"Omaha."

Sheldon did a U-turn and headed for his mother's. There was no way he was going to let his brother talk him into driving to Omaha just to have it rubbed in his face that she had Luke.

"Whoa, little bro…what the hell?" George hung on when Sheldon crossed both lanes without slowing down and headed back to their mom's house.

"I think what we have to talk about at Meemaw's can wait. I think Mom deserves to see you right god-damned now!"

George glanced at the grim look on his brother's face and decided then and there that he was going to get his brother's ass to Omaha if he had to hogtie him and throw him in the back of the truck. Just not right that minute. His brother's face was the image of his dad's when he was about to open up a can of whoop ass on someone.

* * *

Pasadena  
Ten days later

Howard Wolowitz pretty much kept to himself these days. Raj was busy with a new project Sheldon had suggested as 'possibly worthy of a Nobel Prize' so he was bored and spent a lot of time in the cafeteria hoping for inspiration and a little company.

"I had a feeling I'd find you here, Howard. Still a victim of your schedule, I see." Sheldon smiled broadly at his friend and reached out to shake his hand.

"Shel – Sheldon? Man, what are you doing here? Are you coming back? Oh, man, Raj will be so happy to see you and – "

"I just came to see you, Howard. I have a proposition for you. Can we find somewhere a little less public? I don't have a lot of time and people seem to think I have nothing better to do than chat."

"Aren't you going to see Leslie?" Everyone knew about Sheldon and Leslie – the women all gushed on about how romantic it was but Howard knew the truth. They were screwed over by ambition and fate.

"Flew in last evening. I've – I've seen her." He blushed deeply and Howard was about to say something typically Howardish, meaning gross, when Sheldon said, "I want you to head up a design team to do – this!" And he spread out a single blueprint that was obviously Sheldon's idea, weighing down the corners with salt, pepper and sugar and Howard's clean silverware.

Howard's eyes glazed over and his heart started missing a beat here and there but his mind was already considering changes and improvements. After all, he wasn't a PhD but he was a brilliant engineer.

"Your Foundation – this is – " he swallowed convulsively and Sheldon slapped him hard on the back.

"It's where we'll realize our mission objective, Howard. "To provide a stimulating intellectual and social environment for young minds facing difficult environmental and societal hardships."

"You mean – "

"People like us, Howard; the ones who are bullied, cowed, intimidated, beaten, and humiliated  
simply because they're smarter."

"Just looking at these basic drawings…it'll take 5 years, Sheldon. I can't just walk away – "

"Bernadette is a gifted and talented virologist. I'm sure since we're beginning our first session in June that a position on the faculty would be a challenging opportunity. We have over 400 applicants so far for 30 slots. Guest lecturers and researchers will come and go but we'll need a permanent staff, Howard."

"And in 5 years when this is done?" Sheldon looked out the window and over the campus and smiled. "Howard, it'll never be 'done'. That's why it's a cube."

"Come to dinner and make your pitch to Bernie. She'd love to see you and hear what you've been up to. Bring Leslie along, if you like. If you can convince Bernadette…"

He didn't bring Leslie. She flat-out refused to go. She'd been keeping a secret from him and she knew it would come out in conversation between old friends and she just couldn't face him when he realized that she was no different than the Three Amigos. She had betrayed him with her silence.

* * *

LAX International Airport

Sheldon waited for his flight to be called. Being a Nobel Laureate who headed up a private foundation had its perks but one of them was not being immune to bitterness and heartbreak. Bitterness because the truth had been kept from him, the heartbreak because of who had kept it a secret: Melissa kept the truth from him after she'd learned it and Leslie, who knew because Bernadette had told her so.

Leslie had taken him to her bed how many times after knowing the truth – Penny Queen had not abandoned him but rather he, however unwittingly and innocently, had abandoned her.

_"Sheldon, I told her to meet you in Houston when you flew back from St Petersburg. I was sending the man I love to meet a woman who could never love him like I do. That's how much I love you! Damn it, Shel – "_

He had walked out, careful not to give in to pettiness and slam the door and called a cab for the airport.

* * *

Houston

George picked Sheldon up at the airport and was immediately concerned. Gone was the cocky and confident man who'd met him outside the prison and then set out his vision for the future – a future George would play an important role in.

"Sheldon, what's wrong? Are you sick? Headache?"

"No, George Jr. Once again I allowed people in, to trust and grow fond of them – and once again I was betrayed, my dream taken from me. Well, no more, Junior. Never again. The old Sheldon had it right – touch no one and allow no one to touch me. Penny was simply an anomaly and besides, she has kids to raise and a new life. I have my work."

He didn't go to his mom's or even confront Melissa with her treachery. Instead, he had George Jr drop him off at Meemaw's and told him to stay away for a few days until he called and then they'd activate his role at Cooper Farms.

A few days turned into a few weeks. His mother was worried and Missy was driving everyone nuts so George drove out to his Meemaw's place and went looking for his brother. Sheldon answered calls with 'What do you want that's so crucial that you interrupt me?' It was a recording on his voice mail. It changed periodically, as expected, but essentially remained the same.

"George, go see him. Bring him here for a sit-down. That boy is going to be the death of me yet." She finally wheedled the truth out of her daughter and feared the worst.

* * *

There were at least 100 pickup trucks and vans parked haphazardly around it. The barn was gone, replaced by a nearly completed metal and glass Butler building (the metal sign read – Foundation Temporary Admin Bldg). He saw a trailer that looked like the office for the construction company doing the work and waltzed in like he owned the place.

"Mornin'. I'm lookin' for my brother, Sheldon Cooper. Seen him?" An attractive but harried young woman with a phone in one ear held up a hand in the universal 'Stop' signal and continued on with her conversation.

"The Director doesn't want to hear about excuses. Your group is two days behind. Catch up before it rains or you'll be pouring foundations in it on your own nickel. I got to go."

"Sorry, Georgie. The West project is behind schedule and I got to get them off their asses. Your brother's in D.C. getting our congress critter to cut through some EPA red tape but he'll be back later tonight. Want to see the plans for Cooper Cattle and then get settled in? He figured wrong. Mary drove ya nuts in less than six weeks."

* * *

Somewhere over Tennessee

One of Sheldon's wealthy sponsors had offered Sheldon the use of a small executive jet for air travel on Foundation business. It was much more convenient than sitting with the cattle to be squeezed into a metal tin can filled with a miasma of the common folks' effluence.

He had tried so hard to become Sheldon V.1 but just couldn't bring himself to be a total whack-job. Yes, he kept people at a distance, even the beloved Wolowitz couple, but he found it exhausting. He was a 'people person' now and he needed people. He needed her, the golden child, his Queenie, and he was dead set on bearding the lion in its den and abandoning his Foundation and moving to Omaha and become a farmer if that's what it took.

He unbuckled his seatbelt and walked forward and stuck his head into the cockpit and asked the pilot if it was possible to make a destination change.

"No problem, Doc. Where to?" The pilot liked Sheldon and was impressed with his knowledge of his favorite aircraft although he never took Don, the pilot, up on his offer to take the second seat and fly for a while. He bit back a biting comment about Flight Simulator being a poor excuse for competent instruction but just shook his head 'no'.

"Omaha."

He called the construction office and advised his foreman – foreperson – of his change of plans. "I won't be back tonight after all. I'll call with my arrival time but Don can drop me off on his way home. Keep after those idiots handling Project West. I want concrete pads cured and in place when the modular units arrive for the dorms."

"Already done that but I don't think we can reasonably expect – "

"I'm not a very reasonable person, Jennifer, I thought you'd have realized that by now. There is a timeline and they know the monetary penalties for being late. Remind them of how much they lose each day they're late." He hung up with saying goodbye. It was his way.

* * *

Galveston

"That was Sheldon, Georgie. He's not going to be in tonight. Man, your brother is anal about his schedules!"

"I best take a look at the plans he's got for Cooper Cattle. Don't want him on my ass about being late."

"Do you know what happened in Pasadena that tore him up so bad? He's not the same guy who comforted Missy and Chelsea at Mike's funeral."

"Not my tale to tell. Iffen Shel wants you to know, he'll tell ya. Now, what about those plans?"


	14. Knock, Knock, Knocking on Heaven's Door

A/N: I'm not deliberately cruel and brutal, but sometimes it can't be helped. The title of this chapter is from Bob Dylan's 2007 album _Dylan_. It's a double entendre but exceptionally applicable.

* * *

Knock, Knock, Knocking at Heaven's Door

Millard Air Field  
Omaha, Nebraska

"Dr. Cooper, I radioed ahead and there'll be ground transportation for you waiting at the gate. This isn't a big air field so don't expect Hertz or National, more like Rent-a-Wreck but it saves you an hour of driving time in this snow."

"I'm sure whatever they have will be fine." Sheldon didn't care if they had a buckboard and two mules, he was determined to get to Queen Farms before nightfall. He detested driving in snow and the forecast called for more.

He told his pilot to get a motel room for the night and he'd call him with a departure time in the morning.

* * *

Sheldon sat on the side of the road cursing a blue streak. He had no cellular service this far out in the boonies and the 1993 Chevy Blazer had thrown a rod if the puddle of oil under the engine was any indicator. It was cold and he pulled his overcoat around him and leaned against the fender of the Blazer waiting for a vehicle to pass in either direction that he could flag down.

He was exactly smack dab in the middle of nowhere, midway between Omaha and Queen Farms that sat to the northeast. And it was snowing.

He was sure they'd find his frozen body in the Spring. There were 4 inches of new snow on the roadway and no one had driven by since he'd broken down. _Come to think on it, I haven't seen a vehicle going either way since leaving the interstate._

Headlights. He saw headlights and stepped out into the roadway and waved his arms up and down like some stork trying to get airborne.

"Holy shit!" Sheldon nimbly threw himself to the side as the truck lumbered by him, trying to stop on the fresh snow. He picked himself up and brushed himself off and walked towards the stopped vehicle. A man got out of the big 'dually' that was hauling a 5th wheel flatbed with a tractor chained down to it.

"You okay there? I almost didn't see ya in the snow. Broke down, hmm? Need a ride?" The man was tall and thin but bundled up like an Arctic explorer and waved Sheldon on towards the truck.

He opened the passenger door from inside and Sheldon climbed in. It smelled of cigarette smoke and beer but it was warm and for that he was grateful.

"Where ya headed?" the man asked. "Queen Farms. My rental threw a rod. Been a while since I saw another vehicle. You're the first in two hours" answered a shivering Sheldon.

"Well, I'm goin' right past the Queen place. I'll drop ya off and you can call for a tow."

* * *

Queen's Farms

Sheldon had walked the mile or so from the road to the Queen house. Like most farm houses, it had been built back on the property a ways. His ride, Eben Hauser, hadn't wanted to risk getting mired down in a drift on the unplowed road so Sheldon had hopped out of the warm cab and hoofed it.

There was no one home. He swept snow off a porch swing to the left of the main door and sat down out of the wind. He turned up his overcoat collar and stuffed his hands in the pockets. He'd long since lost feeling in his feet. His dress shoes were hardly footwear for a walk in the snow. He was freezing his ass off and the possibility of becoming a Coopercicle was very real.

Wyatt Cooper had been out beyond the barn checking on his stock. He feed the small dairy herd and then had run out to the northern fence line to check on his small string of American Quarter horses that were in a pole barn out of the weather. He raised and sold them for rodeo use.

The last thing he wanted to do was stay out in the blustery snow but he wanted to clear the parking area and front porch steps of new snow so he pushed the snow blower around the corner of the house and started the gas engine and soon was throwing a spume of snow 20' in the air as he cleared the paved parking area and the approaches to the porch.

He almost had a stroke when he saw a dark figure sitting on the swing to his right, almost covered in snow.

* * *

Queen kitchen

Sheldon sat shivering in front of the open door of the oven, basking in the heat. He could feel his toes again and squishy socks, to boot.

"You're damned lucky I decided to clean off the car park and porch otherwise you'd have frozen before morning. Why didn't you just come inside?"

"I thought the door would be locked and I've no desire to add 'burglar' to my long list of abilities. I should have paid more attention when your daughter tried to teach me how to pick a lock."

"You lived too long in the city, boy, and have forgotten your roots. We don't lock doors here."

"I don't lock them at home now either, come to think on it. Living in Pasadena with crime and break-ins so common…" He didn't need to finish the sentence. Penny had locked her car when she left it in front of the house when she first got home. Yeah, Wyatt understood the impact of city living.

"Why are you here, Dr. Cooper? No calls, letters or emails and you just show up out of the blue and expect what? A brass band and a 'Welcome Whack-a-Doodle' parade?" Wyatt was going to find out just what kind of a man Sheldon Cooper was. He'd hurt his daughter so he tossed being polite out the window.

"That's Welcome Nobel-Prize-Winning-Whack-a-Doodle", snapped Sheldon. "At least give me some credit." If this old man wanted a dust up, he was just miserable enough to give him one.

"I'll restate my question then. What do you want?" There was steel underneath all those fancy clothes, he'd give him that much. His eyes had narrowed and flashed angrily when he snapped out his retort to Wyatt.

"I want to talk with Penny. Some things have come to my attention that I hadn't known about or I assure you I'd have been here much earlier if I'd known then."

"Phones don't work from Pasadena?"

"I live on 1,000 acres outside of Galveston on a small ranch now. I left Pasadena quite some time ago. There was nothing for me there any longer." _Everything I want is here._

* * *

Omaha

It was only 10 miles from the kids' school where they'd attended a PTA to their place but Darlene was uncertain about making the drive. "Maybe we should stay in town someplace. Get a room or two – "

"Mom, it's just snow and the Jeep has 4-wheel drive and it's only 10 minutes to home. It's late and you know how Daddy gets when we're late and don't call."

Her parents' relationship was getting stronger. The kids helped the healing process. Maybe just not being alone with each other 24/7 helped. She didn't care. There was a lot less tension in the house now.

They passed the snow-covered Blazer and Penny's mom asked if maybe they shouldn't stop and see if anyone needed help but Penny still had some 'city instincts' and so they drove on home.

* * *

Queen Farms

Luke walked in the front door and bellowed, 'Grandpap, we're home!" and then loped upstairs to change out of the clothes he'd worn into something warmer and more comfortable. He had received an award for academic excellence and he'd had to wear a coat and tie.

Lyla strolled into the kitchen in search of something to nibble on and interrupted her grandfather and some guy she vaguely recognized from TV.

"Sorry, Gramps. Didn't see another car. Didn't know we had company." The guy looked frozen and she made connections and blurted out, "That's your Blazer on the road from town, isn't it? You _walked_ here?"

Sheldon glanced at the young girl and thought, '_Lyla'_, and started to answer her when Penny and her mom walked into the kitchen.

Sheldon stood up on squishy feet and smiled and said, "Hello, darlin'. I've missed you." He cringed at his own words but they'd rushed out before he could engage his brain. At least it was the truth.

"Sheldon, what do you want?" She cringed at how harsh her tone was and how blunt she was but he'd surprised her.

"You." He stood straight, all 6'2" of him, and waited for her to say something, anything but when she spoke, he wished he'd stayed on course for Galveston.

"Well, it's too late. You never called, never emailed or – "

"Neither did you but in my defense, Queenie, I didn't remember where you lived and Leonard was hardly going to tell me after I thrashed his ass good and proper, now, was he?"

"Coffee?" She was trying to buy time, put together some way of dealing with this delicious man who stood dripping in her kitchen. "Oh, right, you don't do drugs because coffee's a drug and you promised your momma – "

"They kept it all a secret – Missy, the Three Amigos, Leslie, even my mom – I didn't know about Houston or your sister or her kids and when I did, well, I thought Luke was your new boyfriend and that sort of set the boundaries a bit more narrow, just like in Pasadena. You said you were with Leonard then and I don't encourage cheating, Penny, you know that, and now you had Luke..."

"Luke is my nephew, Sheldon, not my boyfriend. How – oh, right, you did call once and – "

"And your niece told me you were out with 'Luke' and Missy said you were bringing a 'Plus-1' to the wedding and – "

Penny started to laugh and sat down heavily at the kitchen table. Lyla was all eyes and ears. You couldn't see this kind of romantic stuff on TV but her grandmother took her by the arm and sent her up to her room to 'give the adults privacy' and then she motioned for her husband to follow her out into the large living room.

Penny took a deep cleansing breath and then looked at Sheldon, really looked at him. He'd aged around the eyes and had put on some muscle and his hair was way longer than in Pasadena – he looked exhausted so she motioned him to the chair across the table from her.

"I ask again, Sheldon. What do you want?" A strong offense was a good defense. The old Sheldon would shy away from blunt confrontation but would answer her question in painful detail.

But this wasn't the old Sheldon. V2.0 was different and yet much the same but in this specific instance – he stood, walked over to her, never taking his eyes from hers, reach down and grabbed her upper arms and pulled her against him and then he kissed her.

She was stunned by how much emotion she felt in that one kiss. It was soft, gentle, promising and yet tentative just as he was. She heard Winkle's words in her mind again. _Sheldon and I would never work. We're too much alike. You and him…you're each a missing part of the other._

She didn't want to hope, to even think about – but then her mom's words came back and knocked her arguments into a cocked hat. _He's your best friend and they make the best lovers and husbands._

She started to respond to his kiss, to deepen it but suddenly stopped and pushed him almost violently away from her. "No. You don't get to do this to me now. I have a life here, the kids, my parents. You can't just come waltzing in saying you want me and what? I'm supposed to just chuck it all and move to Galveston and live happily ever after just because you want me?"

Sheldon was as surprised by her argument as he was by the vehemence behind it. Yes, that's exactly what he wanted but obviously she didn't. She'd grown, accepted 'parental' responsibility and…she was right. He couldn't expect her to run off to Galveston.

"I understand your position, Penny, and I wouldn't ask you to give this all up for me. I – I'll abandon my Foundation, turn it over to the Trustees and allow Georgie Jr to run the Cooper Farms. I'll – "

"No, Sheldon. It would never work. _We _will never work. I'm sorry you came all this way for nothing. You should have called or emailed me…" She was trying not to cry.

"Penny, I love you. I've never said that to anyone before. I never said it to Leslie nor did I feel for her like I feel for you. I have to have you in my life, Penny. The Nobel Prize, the fame, the money, it meant nothing because I didn't have the woman I loved – "

"Stop it! Just stop it. I – I don't love you, Sheldon."

He looked at her and then blinked. "That never occurred to me, Penny. I'm sorry for imposing on you and your family like this."

He turned and grabbed his overcoat and walked out through the living room and out the front door.

Her mother walked into the kitchen and stared at her daughter and then shook her head as if dismissing her from view. She said, loudly, "Wyatt, fire up the Jeep, honey, and give Dr. Cooper a lift to the airport. He won't be spending the night after all. And Wyatt, you be nice to him, hear? He just had his heart ripped right out of his chest by your daughter."


	15. The End

A/N: This is the final chapter. There will be no epilogue, no rewrite to appease the villagers with their torches and pitchforks who have laid siege to my castle; this is the end.

* * *

The End

In case you've forgotten:

"_Stop it! Just stop it. I – I don't love you, Sheldon." _

"_That never occurred to me, Penny. I'm sorry for imposing on you and your family like this."_

* * *

Sheldon Cooper was tall and had a 38" inseam that translated into each normal stride moving his body forward about a yard. These were not normal times and his stride lengthened as he moved from a walk to a run.

His subconscious screamed _'Run, Sheldon, Run!'_ exactly as it had so many times in his early formative years, urging him to escape his tormentors by flight. When presented with a certain stimuli, the reaction of the body is 'fight or flight'. He had fought his battle and lost and that left – _flight._

The problem was that his tormentor this time was his own mind that served up memory after memory of rejection and ridicule over the course of his 34 years in perfect digital sound and image. Slowly, but with infinite attention to detail, he remembered everything.

One step led to another and soon he was running down the lane towards the road and then turning onto the highway and still he ran.

Tears froze on his face and snot ran across his upper lip but he was totally unaware of any of this. Deep in his own mind he was remembering meeting Penny for the first time.

Sheldon Cooper recognized _now_ what he couldn't comprehend in his emotionally stunted state _then, _that he had fallen instantly and hopelessly in love with Penny Queen.

'_You're one of those like beautiful mind kinda guys, right?'_

'_The hero always peeks.'_

On and on the big screen TV in his brain played back snippets of their six long years of foreplay. All those other guys had slowly turned his heart to stone, molecule by molecule, until it no longer hurt when she bedded Leonard or even Raj.

_I touch no one and no one touches me._

But then he lost his memory and his heart returned to its normal state and he fell in love with Penny all over again only this time he lacked the armor of experience to protect his heart.

And now it was breaking again and he knew it.

* * *

Queen Farms

Wyatt walked into the kitchen and snatched the keys off the hook and grabbed his heavy barn coat and glared at his wife and daughter. "Ya know, you two are exactly alike, Darlene. A man loves you, gives up everything he ever wanted just to be with you, and you turn your damned heart to stone and reject him. Only difference is that you were pregnant and had no choice but to marry me. Your rejection's just grown slowly over the years. At least _that_ boy knows up-front and can move on now and find some happiness in life."

He walked out to the Jeep and wondered if Sheldon might not have need of an old farmer with years of experience down at Cooper Farms. After all, they had a lot more in common than either thought.

* * *

Queen Farms

"Do you think he'll come back?" Penny asked her mom, referring to Sheldon.

"I don't know, Penny. A man can only take so much…" her mother answered, thinking of her husband.

"Do you think he really meant what he said?"

_I – I'll abandon my Foundation, turn it over to the Trustees and allow Georgie Jr to run the Cooper Farms._

"Yep. Gave up a football scholarship and his future to marry me and be a father – "

"I meant Sheldon."

"Oh, yeah. Of course ya did."

"Did you ever love Daddy?"

"Yep, still do. You shoulda seen that man run with a football…all the girls wanted Wyatt but I got him. Now the question is, do I still have him?"

Lyla Walker sat on the landing of the second floor stairway and listened to her grandma and aunt talk. Her brother might have the brains in the 'twinship' but she had the heart and right now it was breaking. She stomped down the steps and confronted the two women in her life that loved her unconditionally.

"You two are such idiots. I don't know which of you I pity the most – Grams, you got what most couples never have and Aunt Penn – you're just plain stupid and stubborn and if a man ever loved me like he loves you…"

She threw her hands up in the air and stomped back upstairs. Maybe her brother the genius had a solution. _Yeah, like he can see past his damned school books and blind ambition!_

* * *

They'd drank a pot of coffee and taken turns trying to talk some sense into one another but finally Penny ended further conversation with "It's late. I have to iron the kids clothes for school tomorrow."

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

"Yeah, well, then I'll have a jump on the week, won't I? Sheldon always said – " She started to bawl her eyes out and soon both women were crying like teenagers watching a Twilight Marathon.

Neither heard the phone ring so Lyla answered the upstairs extension. She'd been asleep and wasn't thinking straight yet but remembered her phone etiquette.

"Queen Farms. This is Lyla."

"Tell yer Grandma that the Jeep's parked at the Millard Air Field's General Aviation Terminal and that the keys are in the glove compartment. Ya'll take care now, Lyla. I'll be in touch."

"Grandpa? What's - "

"Make sure you write it down, honey. I know you're not really awake yet. Sorry about the time but we're leaving at first light. Be good now and don't give your Aunt Penny a hard time. They're both gonna be a might touchy in the days ahead."

Lyla stomped down the stairs and tossed the message form in the middle of the table. She glanced at the big kitchen clock and then calmly said, "It's almost 5AM. Grandpa called. He and Dr. Cooper are flying out at first light. You might be able to catch them once you've pulled your heads outta your collective rectums. Honestly, who's the adult here?"

* * *

On the road to town

Wyatt had picked Sheldon up a few miles down the road from the farm turnoff and dragged him into the Jeep. "I'm not goin' back, so don't waste yer breath. All this time I thought she loved me, if just a little – don't matter now. I would appreciate a lift to the airfield. I'll reimburse you – "

His accent and diction hadn't improved with the restoration of his memory. If anything, it had gotten worse.

"She does. She's just too stupid to see it and too stubborn to acknowledge it. You caught her by surprise, Dr. Cooper. She don't like surprises. You were honest with her and I don't think she could even think straight. Give her time, Doc. She'll come around – maybe."

"Tell her I'm sorry for puttin' her in such a fix but I don't hold no hard feelins. It's like I told Hofstadter, she don't need a brain-damaged neurotic like me in her life but I had to try, didn't I? A girl like her, she'll have no problem findin' someone to treat her right and be who she needs him to be."

"Oh, yeah, she's been beatin' them off with a stick." It was sarcasm but it went right over Sheldon's head. Even without his memory, sarcasm eluded him most of the time.

"On second thought, drop me off at the Huddle House across from the field. It's been a long day and I fergot to eat. Be happy to spring fer an early breakfast, Mr. Queen. That and gas money and you'll be good to go."

* * *

Huddle House

The two men, one dressed for farm work and the other for the boardroom, talked until it was nearly 4AM, mostly about Sheldon's Foundation and Cooper Farms.

"I envy you yer youth, Shel. I wish I had the years left to realize my dreams." They'd become Wyatt and Sheldon quickly as they talked.

"It's not too late. What dreams?"

"I was gonna study agronomy and develop strains of corn and wheat that were drought and disease resistant and could grow in poor soil. Figured I'd leave the world a better-fed place when I left it. I tinker with it a bit now and again when things even out money-wise but not enough to have a detailed genetic chart yet."

"All the truly great men made their discoveries late in life. Salk, Galileo, Copernicus, Einstein, Madame Curie to name just a few."

"You goin' back with that woman you gave the Nobel Prize to? Oh, don't look so surprised. I listen and my daughter was upset when you picked up with Dr. Winkle. Powerful upset. Said you'd forgot all about 'dumbass' and other insults."

"She says she loves me and I like her but no, she's one of the women in my life who betrayed me and I may not be much of a man but even I find it hard to forgive something like that. I have my work. What more do I need?"

"You need my daughter, that's what. You gonna just walk away from – " but Sheldon cut him off.

"Excuse me? I know you heard what she said. Christ, she said it loud enough. I can't make her love me. Lord, it's nigh onto 5AM. I got to make a call to my pilot and get him movin'. I can walk over to the air field from here."

"Tell ya what, Sheldon. I'd like to see this 'farm project' of yours. Think your brother might need a hand from an old broken down farmer?"

"I think he just might be in over his head and could use a little direction but what about – "

"Except for flyin' out to LA that one time, I've not had me a vacation in years. Seems like a right fine time to be vacatin'. If I can borry yer phone I'll let them know where to collect the Jeep."

* * *

Queen Farms

"I'm going to go fetch my husband and bring him home and screw his damned ears off. You can do what you like but if you had half the brains of a retarded gnat you'd pack a bag, hug the kids and go with me."

"Mom, I just can't – "

"Then settle in for the long haul, baby girl, because this," gesturing around the empty kitchen, "this is as good as it's gonna get. Least ways I got a man to warm my bed and heart even if I don't always tell him how much I love him. What will you have? A battery-powered, vibratin' boyfriend?"

"Mom!" Penny turned deep red and sputtered but her mother cut her off with "We ain't deaf, Penny. And I don't hear Leonard's name whispered in the dark when the buzzin' gets loud. I hear 'Moon Pie' or 'Sheldon'."

* * *

Millard Air Field  
General Aviation Terminal

"I filed a flight plan but I have to warn you that it's going to be bumpy even at high altitudes. I'd advise against – "

"Duly noted, Don. I'll testify that you're flying despite warning us of inclement weather at the Accident Board Hearing. Get us the hell out of here soon as you can."

"Figure an hour, Doc. They got to de-ice the aircraft and the truck's not here yet."

Sheldon looked at his watch and said, "Fine. I expect to be airborne by 5:57AM."

* * *

Penny and Darlene ran into the civil air terminal but it was empty, probably due to the early hour. A man came in from the flight line and Penny ran over and asked about a private flight leaving for Galveston. The loud whine of a jet turbine drowned out the man's answer as a private jet taxied away from the terminal.

"What? What did you say?" Penny shouted as the plane turned onto the runway approach.

"I said, 'That's the only flight leavin' before 8am'. You're too late but maybe you can get the control tower to relay a message." He turned away and went on about his business.

Penny watched as the anti-collision lights got smaller and smaller. "We missed them?" her mother asked, standing behind her.

"Yeah. That's them taxiing out towards the runway."

"Then it's not too late." She grabbed her daughter and got into the Jeep, fumbled around for the keys and then tore off down the parking lot to an access gate.

"Mom! The gates – " The Jeep slammed through the locked gates and careened out onto the taxi way. "What? What about the gates?"

"Nothing. Never mind." Penny looked over and saw the feral grin on her face and tightened the shoulder restraint on her seat belt.

"Shit, I'll never get in front of them now…geometry's all wrong…" _Her mother – a closet nerd?_

Darlene floored the accelerator pedal and the big Jeep Cherokee tore down the runway parallel to the jet's. She flipped on the hazard lights, the Klieg light bar, and started blowing the horn.

Penny glanced at the speedometer, 60mph on a snowy concrete runway…70, 75…

Darlene saw where there was a cement apron that connected the two runways and angled the big Jeep so as to cross over to the jet's runway.

"Penny, there are road flares in the glove compartment. I'm going to open up the sunroof and you need to stand on your seat and light them up and wave them around to get their attention!"

"What? Are you frikkin' nuts, mom? We're going too fast as it is and you want me to – "

"Never mind. Grab the wheel and keep it straight. I put it on cruise control. When I'm up and out of the sunroof, you slide past into the driver's seat and start weaving and honking the damned horn to get their attention. Wyatt's not getting' away from me."

The first flare sputtered but finally caught. She used it to light the other one and started waving them around to get the pilot's attention. "Faster, Penny, faster!"

* * *

The pilot finally saw the road flares and flashing lights and thought it was some kind of emergency so he pulled the throttles back through the stops and set the engines to 'idle' and began braking the heavy aircraft.

Wyatt looked out the window and saw his wife standing up in the sunroof waving emergency flares around and started to laugh. He looked over at Sheldon and pointed out the window as the big jet decelerated and almost came to a stop.

Sheldon unfastened his seatbelt and leaned across to see what had made Wyatt laugh but the Jeep passed out of view and across the nose of the plane.

"Must be a rural version of an emergency vehicle. Rather creative use of available material. Leave it to country people to get the job done though." Sheldon hadn't seen enough to notice Darlene drop both flares on the runway as the Jeep tore across the front of the jet.

Don walked out of the cockpit and said, "Sit tight. The tower hasn't authorized an intercept so I don't know what to expect."

"I do. I'd better go out first. Sheldon, you stay put, if only for your own safety. Don, get ready to take off again."

They opened the cabin door with built in steps and banister and Wyatt climbed down. Darlene ran at him, launched herself up and wrapped her arms and legs around her husband and kissed him hard.

"Wyatt, I love ya and I'm takin' ya home. We'll talk about our future later. Sheldon and Penny have to figure out what to do about theirs."

Wyatt walked over to the Jeep and leaned in the open window. "Penny, you don't have much time to get on the plane and live a beautiful life with a guy who's willing to give up everything for you. We'll work something out with the kids."

She stared straight ahead, unblinking, her mind a kaleidoscope of random images of Sheldon Cooper and Penny Queen living their lives together in a future she couldn't even begin to imagine.

"Penny, last chance. Don's gonna pull up the stairs and that'll be it. No more 'next times'. It's now or never, baby girl. If you love him, get on the plane."

Don leaned down and pulled the lanyard that raised the steps and banister back flush with the door. Shaking his head, he reached out to close the door.

"Wait! Wait for me!" Penny kissed her father and ran to the jet. Don dropped the stairs and helped her board. "I think he's in one of the bunks or back in the galley. Get strapped in and I'll get us airborne. We're eight minutes late and you know how Dr. Cooper is about his schedules. We have to fly down to New Orleans then out into the Gulf and then to Galveston to avoid a major winter storm."

* * *

Sheldon sat on the edge of the bunk the crew used on long flights. He was flying home alone after all. _I'll invite Wyatt and his wife down for a vacation in a while and pick his brain and sic him on Georgie. I think Darlene and Mom will get along. _

Don announced _'Prepare for takeoff. Please take your seat, Dr. Cooper, and buckle up.'_

Sheldon toed off his shoes and lay back on the bunk, exhausted. It had been a long day and his REM cycle requirements were shot in the ass. He fell asleep almost instantly.

Penny had walked forward to find Sheldon as soon as the pilot gave the okay.

He wasn't in the galley but she found him sprawled on his back in a bunk, sound asleep. "Moon Pie, what am I going to do with you?"

She managed to get his suit coat off without waking him. Penny unlaced her boots and then lay down beside him for the first time ever. She lifted his arm and wrapped it around her shoulders and curled up against him with her head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.

Sheldon awakened when she started wrestling with his coat. For a moment he was back in Pasadena and Winkle was trying to take him to bed after they'd dozed off watching a movie on Netflix.

Then he smelled vanilla and that particular conditioner she used and he wasn't sure just what was going on. He knew he was on the jet but why was she here?

Penny whispered her thoughts out loud. She wanted to hear her own arguments.

"That was quite a speech you gave in my kitchen, Moon Pie. Would you really give up all this luxury for me?"

"Without a single regret or second thought." He whispered his answer, not knowing why they were whispering but going with it.

She started to sit up, embarrassed, but he simply held her more closely to him until she relaxed or perhaps simply quit fighting him.

"That kiss in the kitchen, wow, that was something. I guess I have Winkle to thank for that."

He took a deep breath and then said, "I'm not gonna apologize for anything Leslie and I may or may not have done together. You were with 'Luke'," and he held up a hand stopping her retort, "and I had no way of knowing he was anyone other than a new boyfriend."

He waited a full second before saying, "I don't love, never loved, could never love anyone but you. That's my final comment on the Winkle issue."

He seemed so resolute and strong that she felt that old thrill whip through her body. Strong-minded men were her secret weakness. She didn't stay long with a guy she could manipulate.

"Wrong answer?" He was so tired of not knowing the right answer where she was concerned.

She snuggled closer to him and whispered, "Nope."

He needed to know. In his mind, Penny could have any of a million reasons for being here like this and he found his mind categorizing and listing all the unsavory ones.

"Do you love me, Penny? You said 'no' in your kitchen but here you are. I can't assume anything where you're concerned. I want direct communication with the source. Do you love me, yes or no?"

"More than anything in the world, Moon Pie." She could hear his heartbeat changing, getting faster so she leaned up and looked down at him and said, "How do I know it wasn't a fluke, a one-off?"

"Huh?" Not the brilliant answer she'd expected but she smiled. "That kiss. How do I - " His other arm slipped up under her hair and he pulled her closer. His lips captured hers and his tongue teased her lips and it was quiet for a long time.

"So what now, Shel? I have the kids to think about. What's the plan?" She was back with her head on his chest listening to the strong steady beating of his heart. It was hers now. Perhaps it had always been.

"I have no idea. How about we just wing it, darlin'? Life's to be lived and savored not planned out to the nth degree."

"Who are you and what have you done with my Moon Pie?" She sat up too abruptly for him to stop her.

"I'm the upgrade, Queenie. And I come with a lot of new features." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and her laughter filled the small compartment.

"What am I going to do with you, Sheldon?"

"Is that a rhetorical question, Penny, because you know, if it isn't, I have – "

"Shut up and kiss me again."


End file.
